Mental Health | Self-Care

Your Little Victories and Big Reasons to Celebrate!

By on April 17, 2018
little victories and big reasons to celebrate

Little Victories

Sometimes we get caught up in the rush of life and do not celebrate the little victories we accomplish every day. When I was five years old I was learning how to swim. Each class I would cry constantly and beg to get out of the water. One day I received a ribbon with the writing, “I DID NOT CRY TODAY!” While not crying during my lesson is nowhere near learning how to swim laps around the pool, my little victory was celebrated! I did eventually learn how to swim those laps though and actually enjoy swimming now. In fact, I still have my ribbon and it reminds me how important the little victories are and why we need to celebrate ourselves! ( I even have it on display on my vision board!) Keep reading to find out what little victories I am talking about, why we should celebrate, and ways you can celebrate!

What to Celebrate

The possibilities are endless when thinking of the little victories you can celebrate! I have a large monthly habit tracker (print yours here!) where I keep track of many different things. You can celebrate items on your habit tracker, progress towards a large goal, or any victory at all! Some idea could be: staying hydrated, getting out of bed by a certain time, journaling, eating a healthy meal, being true to your feelings, finishing a book, going to bed on time, learning something new, or ANY VICTORY YOU HAVE!

Reasons to Celebrate

1 | Progress is Progress

Progress is progress, no matter how small. There is nothing too small to be celebrated because every positive action that you take is absolutely wonderful! It is hard to get out of your comfort zone, learn something new, or even take care of yourself sometimes. Life is about growing, learning, and progressing- which are all filled with millions of tiny victories! You must learn how to walk before you can run, just like I had to learn how to stop crying in the water to swim.

2 | Motivates You

The truth is, no one can motivate you like you can motivate you. When you take the time to celebrate little victories, it makes you excited to go out and have even more victories. In my article on key tips for motivation, I mention how important it is to reward yourself not only when the work is done but for your steps along the way to the finished product.

3 | You Deserve Credit

It is too common for people to not give themselves the credit they deserve. It is especially hard to recognize these tiny victories when there is a larger goal in mind or we are comparing ourselves to others. I keep a done list to help give myself credit for the tasks I do throughout the day I may forget to give myself credit for. I also celebrate my tiny victories to remember that I did something awesome and give myself credit!

4 | Builds Our Self Confidence

You need to recognize how amazing you are! When you take the time to be proud of yourself for your accomplishments, your self-confidence will grow. It is important to see your greatness and the book, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life does an amazing job of this (check out my book review here)! When you take the time to celebrate little victories you send yourself a message that you are worthy of this celebration!

5 | Practices Gratitude

When you are celebrating small victories, you are showing gratitude! The gratitude may be for yourself, to your progress, the life you are living, or the opportunity that you have to celebrate this little victory! It is important to practice gratitude and be thankful for everything we have PLUS the work we have done! It is just as important to show gratitude to ourselves as it is to show gratitude to others.

RELATED: 8 Benefits of Gratitude Plus Ways to Practice Today

6 | No Reason Not To!

Who says we should wait for something huge to celebrate? Well, I don’t live by shoulds and you don’t have to either! Life is a mix of ups and downs with everything imaginable in between. Our focus needs to be on the positives in life and celebrate every single victory! When we focus on the good things in life, beautiful things happen. This is exactly why I keep a gratitude journal, love my vision board, and use my positive affirmations!! When we celebrate our little victories, we are adding even more happiness into our lives!

How To Celebrate

When it comes to little victories there are oh so many ways to celebrate! You can celebrate by having a mini dance party, buying your favorite treat, shouting how amazing you are, or some special self-care time. It could even be a few moments of reflecting on your great job while sipping on some tea and smiling to yourself. Maybe you are learning how to draw and will treat yourself to some new supplies! You can celebrate by sharing what you are doing too! I started my #BraveBearShare to start sharing what you are learning because I would love to continue to grow this community of support!

There is no victory too small to be celebrated! Success is often a combination of many little victories. Every day we do countless positive acts we could be celebrating! How do you feel about celebrating little victories? Do you have a special way of celebrating something? Please comment below and tell me what you think of my article and any thoughts about celebrating tiny victories! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Mental Health | Self-Care

How (and Why) to Stop the Cycle of Saying Should

By on April 10, 2018
should stop saying

Should is a powerful word. A few months ago I had a realization that I was using should in a way that made me feel worse about myself and situations. I decided that I wanted to stop using the word “should” and start taking action to make myself feel better. Below I listed the main reasons I think should is a negative word and then steps you can take to stop the cycle of shoulds!

Why Should Is a Bad Word

Unmotivating

The word should is seen as motivating and encourages us to do what needs to be done. However, using the word comes with more negative emotions than motivation. When you think of what you should be doing, your mind automatically thinks of the reasons why you are not doing it and what you are doing instead. You start to feel guilty because even though you think you should do something, here you are not doing it. The word itself makes some people want to rebel and not do something simply because they should. It is interesting how such a strong should can lead to such a strong resistance. Do not worry though, I have an entire article on how to get motivated right here that does not include telling yourself you should do something!

Avoids Acceptance

When we are thinking of how something “should” be, we are not accepting what is happening. Because everything in life is temporary, there are bad times as well as good times. However, focusing on the way you think something should be does not change the way things are. There are ways to add positivity into our lives without wishing our reality was different! Journaling helps me a lot with processing what is happening and my gratitude journal helps me focus on the positives! I also practice finding my blessings in disguise, which reminds me that I do not know what the universe has in store and what I think I want may not be what is best.

Hurts Relationships

The word should hurts our relationships with others and with ourselves. A common should with mental health is thinking “they should know I am not fine.” I have a complete article on “Taking off the ‘I’m Fine’ Mask” to help you here. But there are other shoulds in relationships. Some shoulds set up unrealistic expectations for others or make you take on the role as a people pleaser. Shoulds can also take away from self-care when thinking we should do x, y, and z before we do anything nice for ourselves. But self-care is necessary and we MUST take care of ourselves-no shoulds about it.

Gives Someone Else Your Power

Who sets your standard for shoulds? Is it your family or friends that are making you feel like you should be doing something? Maybe it is your school, work, or a certain belief that are setting these standards for you. Maybe your social media is setting unrealistic standards for you. When you are giving someone else the power to decide what is important, you are giving away your power. If you are unsure where your should is coming from, keep reading and follow my steps to help you stop the cycle.

How To Stop The Cycle

Habits are hard to break and saying should to yourself is no different. But do not worry, you have the power to stop the cycle of shoulds!

1 | Recognizing “Shoulds”

The first step in stopping any bad habit is recognizing the habit! Become more aware of when you say the word should. When I first started kicking the habit, I asked those close to me to help and let me know when I say should. It was very helpful- and insightful!

2 | Reflecting on “Shoulds”

Where are your shoulds coming from? It is very important to find where your shoulds are coming from so you can evaluate it completely. Here are some questions to ask yourself: Why do I think I should do this-is it an expectation I have for myself or one others have? Is the expectation healthy? Can I have some help or assistance with what this? Where do my beliefs fall with this should statement? Most importantly be sure to ask, “Am I taking care of my needs?” 

3 | Taking Control

Taking control of your shoulds means making sure you prioritize what you say is important- not what you think you should do. Take some time to reflect on what is important to you, a great way to start reflecting is through journaling! Put your priorities on your monthly habit tracker and create your vision board to help take control too! What you say is a “should” could be classified as a “want” or “need” instead, making you view the situation differently as well.

No More Shoulds

Words are very powerful. I started using positive affirmations because of how much power words hold to add more positivity and increase my self-esteem. Now I am working on eliminating negative words from my vocabulary to help too!

How do you feel about the word should? Do you see a pattern in how you use the word or think it is negative? Please comment below and tell me what you think of my article and any thoughts about the word should! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Self-Care

Creating Your Self-Care Kit: What You Need Plus Free Printable

By on April 3, 2018
self-care kit

Self-care is an import part of mental health. I do my best to stay on top of my stress, even having several self-care methods on my monthly habit tracker. But there are still times when life is hectic! It is okay to be overwhelmed with life sometimes, it will only be temporary. What is important, is to take care of ourselves when we are feeling down or overwhelmed!  Something I have found very useful is a self-care kit! Keep reading to learn what a self-care kit is and how to make one for yourself today!

Self-Care Kit!

A self-care kit is a box filled with items to help you take care of yourself and feel better! Your self-care kit can be thought of as your emergency kit of emotions, helping you to feel It is ideal to make your self-care kit when you are in a nice mental space. Spend some time reflecting on what makes you feel better.  Your kit should have items that create a calming effect, allow you to express yourself, make you feel comforted, and help you take care of yourself! 
Do not panic if you are feeling overwhelmed about making your self-care kit. Below I outlined some amazing items for you to have and I even made a free printable to help you create a unique kit of your own!

Journal

Journaling has many benefits! Keeping one in your self-care kit allows you to express yourself in a healthy way. You can journal about what is going on in your life, your emotions, or make a list of what you are grateful for. Keeping a journal in your self-care kit could also be a good way of tracking your emotions and how often you are using your kit!

Craft

Expressing yourself creatively is a wonderful- and beautiful- way of practicing self-care! You can have a coloring book and some colored pencils, a set of mini canvases and paints, or maybe even some origami paper to help you destress by creating.  You can keep some play-doh in your kit to really make something with your hands!

Nutrition

When my self-care is suffering, my nutrition is usually suffering as well. I have found it helpful to keep healthy snacks in my self-care kit. Maybe you have a favorite nutrition bar or some comforting teas that you only buy on special occasions you can keep in your kit! You can keep a cute water bottle, drinking straws or glasses here to remind you how important hydration is to your mental health and encourage you to stay hydrated! Just be sure to keep all of your drinking gear clean too!

Relaxation

Relaxation is a key component of your self-care kit! There are so many different items you can add to your kit for relaxation: bath bombs, cozy socks, soothing lotions, relaxing incense, or a positive book. Did you know reading is one of the best forms of relaxation? You can also put in a favorite movie that always makes you feel good! It does not matter what the item is, as long as it relaxes you!

Personal Positives

Add in some personal items that bring some positive feelings. A picture of you with your loved ones, a souvenir from an amazing trip you took, a reminder of a past accomplishment, or some personal letters are some ideas! Some items you also have on your vision board or positive affirmations written out would be great too!

Create Your Kit

Self-care kits are a wonderful tool because they have everything you need in one convenient location AND it is personalized for you! When you know you are in need of some care, all you have to do is pick something from your handy kit! Remember that everything is temporary and it is okay to not be okay! There are always resources for you– and possibly your very own self-care kit soon!

How do you feel about a self-care kit? What items help you out when you are in need of self-care? Please comment below and tell me what you think of my article and any thoughts about the self-care kit! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Mental Health | Self-Care

8 Surprising Benefits of Gratitude and How to Practice Today

By on March 13, 2018
gratitude benefits and ways to practice

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”  Marcus Tullius Cicero

This quote about gratitude says just how important it is. Gratitude is when we feel and express appreciation for anything. Without gratitude, we would not be able to enjoy the beauty of the life we are blessed with. It is so simple, yet oh so powerful. You can never, ever have too much gratitude in your life! In fact, gratitude impacts your life more than you might think. Besides being happier because you are acknowledging all of the positive around you, there are also physical, social, and emotional benefits to gratitude! I could go on and on about the wonderful side effects of gratitude, but I listed the ones I found most interesting and unusual. Keep reading to see the top eight reasons to add more gratitude to your life (plus ways to practice today)!

1 | Physical Health 

Being more grateful can improve your physical health*. It might sound strange, but there is a reason for this connection. When you are grateful for your life, you want to make the most of it. With a happier outlook, you tend to take care of yourself more and live a more active lifestyle. A study found that grateful people feel healthier and experience fewer aches and pains. They also attended check-ups more regularly and take charge of their future.

2 | Sleep 

Going along with better physical health is improved sleep! It has been shown* that people who practice gratitude not only sleep better but sleep longer too! This might be a result of taking better care of yourself. Maybe the happier thoughts throughout the day lead to sweeter dreams. After making my vision board, I have been envisioning it before I fall asleep and focusing on the good I have and the good I am working towards.

3 | Patience

Patience is something everyone struggles with now and again. But did you know practicing gratitude can make you more patient*? I was surprised too! It turns out that people who practice gratitude for the “little” everyday things were also more patient (shoutout to my daily gratitude journal). I have found that after starting my gratitude journal, I feel a deeper appreciation for everything. Now I am able to wait for something I want easier because I know it is worth the wait or I am able to allow my gratitude to be stronger than my annoyance.

4 | Self-Esteem 

When you increase your gratitude, you notice more positive things about your life. You also start seeing yourself more positively. The positivity of your life overflows into a positivity about yourself- especially if you are using positive affirmations. A study* was done to test the relationship and it is true, a grateful person also has higher self-esteem. This could be because of less social comparisons and that you are now feeling grateful for someone else’s success.

5 | Resilience 

Gratitude not only helps you see the good things you have, but it allows you to overcome the hard times in life too. When you are practicing gratitude, you are being positive and in the moment, focusing on only the wonderful things that are happening right now. There have been multiple studiesdone to show how gratitude helps with overcoming trauma. I see this as being related to seeing our blessings in disguise too.

6 | Kindness

Someone who practices gratitude also practices kindness, even when someone is rude to them. When you express gratitude you are showing appreciation for the good and not letting the bad get in the way of seeing the positivity. It has been shown* that people who practice gratitude more are not only more likely to express empathy and sympathy but are also less likely to experience aggression and seek revenge (check out my reasons to say no to revenge here!).   

7 | Relationships 

In a relationship, it is important to show appreciation to one another and tell someone how much they mean to you. Not only is gratitude key to your existing relationships, but it could also help create future relationships. When meeting someone, they are more likely to see an ongoing relationship when they are thanked and appreciated*. They can probably sense the kindness and positive mindset that comes with the gratitude! I mean, who wouldn’t want to be friends with a grateful person?

8 | Positivity

When you are more grateful, you have more things to be grateful for. The Law of Attraction is the idea that when we focus on something in life, we attract it (why I have my vision board!). In gratitude, this could not be truer. Since I started adding more gratitude into my life, I have found more to be grateful for. I think it is a combination of attracting positivity and acknowledging the “little” things.

Gratitude: Unlimited Reasons and Ways 

There are so many reasons to practice gratitude! I have only mentioned eight above, so you might have to find more on your own! Don’t worry though, here are some ways you can start practicing today!

Say “Thank you”! Never underestimate how powerful our words are to others! It is important to be vulnerable and to be appreciative in relationships

Blessings in disguise! Seeing the positive in the hardest of times proves that there is always something to be thankful for. Read my article about finding your blessings in disguise here!

Gratitude List! Take out a piece of paper and fill the page with things you are grateful for! If you feel stuck, take a few deep breaths and keep thinking. You will be amazed at how much there is to be grateful for!

Thank You Letter! It is no surprise that I am a fan of snail mail! Thank you letters are a classic way to show your appreciation with a unique touch.

Gratitude Journal! Every day I write in my gratitude journal- read here to see how to start yours! I even have it on my habit tracker to make sure I reflect daily!

Volunteer and Donate! A great way to show your appreciation for a cause or organization is to get involved! You can show you care by helping out and giving back. Plus, volunteering has benefits on its own!

Positive Affirmations! It is important to show appreciation for yourself! Positive affirmations are a wonderful tool for this- check out my article all about what positive affirmations are and how to use them!

How do you practice gratitude? How has someone truly showed you gratitude before? Let me know! Please comment below and tell me what you think of my top benefits of gratitude and what ones you have to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Self-Care

Using a Journal for Self-Care: Six Benefits of Writing it Out

By on February 27, 2018
journaling for self-care

Journaling It Out!

Journaling is a wonderful self-care tool that can help us understand and handle our emotions in an entirely new way. Throughout life, I have kept a journal on and off…mostly off. After I began to realize the benefits of journaling, I decided to make a habit of it- especially when I was stressed. But, you do not need to be an avid journaler to get the benefits! If there is a difficult situation you are in, you are feeling lost, or just need to talk about something- journaling can help! Keep reading to learn the top six benefits of journaling- plus three tips to help you out!

Six Key Benefits

1| Slow Down

Journaling helps your mind slow down when you are feeling overwhelmed and as if your head is spinning. When you begin to write down your thoughts, your thinking slows down in a way for you to process and write them easily, leading you to understand them easier. When your thinking slows down you are also able to see new perspectives of the situation and truly pause in thought.

2| Emotional Intelligence

Journaling is a great way to help understand yourself and your emotions. When you are writing out what is happening, you can have a clearer view of why you are having these emotions. From this insight, we can make connections and even notice the habits we have and key stressors. Do you feel like a people pleaser around certain people? Do you notice your social media may be toxic? Journaling makes these connections clearer for you and assists in your positive growth.

RELATED: Four Reasons to Track Your Habits and Mood Plus Free Printable Planner

3| Communication

When you are journaling you are communicating, even if it is just with yourself and the paper. You are expressing yourself, talking about your emotions and/or life events. When you are able to communicate with yourself better, you are able to communicate with others better too. You can connect with others by writing your words in a letter or stating how you feel. (Check out my article on Taking off the “I’m Fine” Mask for help with communication skills!)

4| Problem Solving

Journaling is an amazing tool in problem solving. The combination of slowing down plus increased emotional intelligence and communication skills create a problem solving toolkit, if you will. Journaling enables you to gain new perspectives and to have a clearer vision of what is happening and what is important to you, allowing you to make better decisions and being calmer in the process. Many times I have found myself journaling about an issue only to have an “AH-HA!” moment of clarity in the situation.

5| More Positivity

Journaling is another way to add more positivity into your life! I have an entire gratitude journal that I use solely for listing three things I am grateful for daily- talk about focusing on the good in life! Your journal is your safe place to write about what makes you happy and to plan your ideal future. You can use your journal for helping with your positive affirmations and finding blessings in disguise– or anything else that brings you happiness! 

6| Stress Relief

While all of the above help us relieve stress, the very act of writing out what is going on is a stress reliever in itself. Have you ever had something you cannot get off of your mind until you are able to vent about it? That is the same exact concept, but you are venting on paper. Journaling is a healthy way to release the intense emotions you are feeling- plus you are able to understand them better. After venting on the paper, you are able to take your new or clearer perspective and stop overthinking. Exactly the reason why I have a journal in my self-care kit!

Three Rules For Journaling

In order to get the most out of journaling, there are only three rules-but they are key!

1| Uninterrupted

When you are journaling, you are only journaling. This is not a time to multitask, have the news on in the background, or have your phone notifications going off nonstop. Be fully present when you are journaling so you are able to truly experience your thoughts.

2| Unfiltered

Your journal is for your mental health benefit, not your writing skills. Do not get caught up in the punctuation, grammar, or spelling of your thoughts. Just write for the emotion and the thoughts behind them. That is the main point of journaling after all! Allow journaling to be an activity free of any judgment and rules.

3| Upbeat

Be sure your journaling does not turn into a novel of negativity. Yes, it is a wonderful place to vent about all of your thoughts and feelings. But, do not end on a negative note. Whether you are ending by reflecting on your blessings in disguise or writing out positive affirmations, make sure your journal is more positive than negative.

Journaling For Life

Journaling is something that can help in every aspect of life. Whether you are journaling for therapy, a relationship, or everyday life it is sure to help you and assist in positive growth.

RELATED: Morning Routines! Benefits and How to Create a Positive Start Daily

How do you feel about journaling? If you haven’t journaled in a while try it out and let me know how it goes! See how many of the benefits you can experience! Please comment below and tell me what you think of my article and any thoughts about journaling for self-care! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Mental Health | Self-Care

Using Positive Affirmations

By on February 20, 2018
positive affirmation

Positive Affirmations

Affirmations are a very powerful tool in self-care for helping us change the way we think. They assist us in focusing on the good things in life and giving us hope. Simply put, affirmations are positive statements you repeat to yourself. Positive affirmations have been used for centuries and it is very obvious why- they work! But what exactly are positive affirmations? How can positive statements truly help me? How do you use them effectively? Do not worry, I have it all covered for you below!

What are Positive Affirmations?

As I just mentioned, positive affirmations are positive statements you repeat to yourself. Any short and declarative statement will work for your affirmation! There are three simple rules for your affirmations to make them as effective as possible.

1 | Always in the present tense

Being fully present when you are repeating your affirmations is very important. You are focusing on who you are now. Do not dread the past or anticipate the future with your affirmations, be fully present. Focus on yourself and the affirmation.

2 | Only use positive words

Affirmations are focusing on the good. You want to focus on the positives and the hopes you have. Do not focus on what you do not want to happen! When you focus on what you do not want, you become filled with worry, fear, and what ifs. When you focus on what you want, you are using the law of attraction and reminding yourselves that what you want is available to you.

3 | Spoken as statements of facts and truth

When you are repeating your positive affirmations, you must believe them. If your affirmation is “You are strong,” you do not need to be the strongest person ever. You just need to believe in the strength you do have. You must believe what you are saying! Remember that you are growing continuously and becoming the positive affirmations.

Examples of Positive Affirmations

I am ready.

I am calm and capable.

I believe in the person I want to become.

I can do this.

I am both a masterpiece and work in progress.

I may not understand the good in this situation but it is there. (Blessing in disguise!)

I am worth loving. There is love all around me.

Why affirmations work

1 |Reframe the Moment

Positive affirmations reframe the moment you are in by focusing on the positive. Fear and negativity can be powerful emotions, but luckily so are hope and positivity. Positive affirmations use positive suggestion to take over those negative thoughts, if you will. You are refocusing on the good and boosting yourself emotionally in the process. Positive affirmations have the power to take your train of thought on an entirely new- and hopeful- path!

2 |Improve Self-Image

At first, your affirmations might feel…awkward. I know mine did. I had a tiny seed of belief that I trusted myself, but here I am repeating to myself, “I trust my inner wisdom and intuition.” However, the more I repeated the affirmation, the more I grew to believe it. I began to trust myself more and more. The new and positive self-talk might feel strange at first, but over time it will work its magic. As long as you are fully present and believe in your affirmations, your self-image will benefit greatly.

When to use Positive Affirmations?

Positive affirmations can be used at any time! Something I absolutely love about them! Positive affirmations can give you hope in a dark time and help with the understanding that everything is temporary. You can use your positive affirmations to help replace negative thoughts or use them alone to help build up your self-image and overall positive feelings. Another one of my favorite times to use them is first thing in the morning! Start your day off on the right foot by getting into the right mindset. Using a positive affirmation in the morning can set your goal and intention for the day and help bring you a sense of calm and strength to use throughout the day. You can also write out your positive affirmations so you can see them! I have several on my vision board to help!

RELATED: Morning Routines! Benefits and How To Create A Positive Start Daily

Am I Doing Positive Affirmations correctly?

Positive affirmations are very powerful, so we want to make sure we are using them as effectively as possible. In addition to the tips above about the affirmations themselves, here are some key tips when using these positive affirmations!

Use a mirror. Looking at yourself in the eyes while repeating the affirmation out loud makes the connection between yourself and the words stronger. Smile at yourself too- remember you are doing this to improve yourself!

Take it slow. Do not rush the affirmation. Speak slowly and clearly out loud, being sure to absorb every word and the meaning behind it. Feel the power of what you are saying.

Repeat. Repeat the affirmation at least three times during your session, the more the better. This is a mindful practice, where habit plays a key role as well.

Practice daily. The more we repeat our affirmations, the stronger the connections grow. Over time you will notice the positive impact these affirmations have on you. You can set aside time every morning to practice your affirmations and build your self-image (put it on your habit tracker!).

If you are unable to say your affirmation out loud, that does not mean you cannot say it to yourself! There have been times when I have started to feel anxious in public and start repeating these affirmations to myself. Even when I am not anxious but my mind is negatively wandering, I will start repeating my affirmations to myself.

Practicing Affirmations

Affirmations are something I believe are highly underrated today. After I started practicing affirmations, I could not stop! And believe me, I won’t! After learning about the connections between mental health and cleanliness, I even starting saying affirmations as I did dishes! Sure, it might look strange that I am shouting how awesome I am while I clean dirty plates- but who cares? I feel the positivity in my mind and body, and that is all that matters! Well, that and doing dishes I guess. The point is that affirmations are a resource that are always available to you, are easy to use, and works!

Do you use positive affirmations? Does my post motivate you want to start? Do you have favorite positive affirmations you use frequently? Let me know! Please comment below and tell me what you think of my tips and if you have any tips to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Mental Health | Self-Care

Vision Board: What, How, and Help Making Yours!

By on
vision board: how and why plus free printable

Visions for Yourself

Where do you see yourself in the future? What do you want to be, do, have, or feel in life? This is not an easy question to answer, but it is an important one. If we do not know what we want in life, then how can we go about our journey to get it? A vision board is an amazing tool to help you create this vision for yourself and make your vision happen right before your eyes!

“Don’t be a victim of circumstances and let life design you. Take an active role and be the one who designs your life.” -Unknown Click To Tweet

What is a Vision Board?

A vision board is exactly what it sounds like- a physical representation of the visions you have for your life! You know the saying “a picture is worth 1,000 words”? Well, that is the whole idea with a vision board. Even if you have an idea of how you want your future to look, a vision board still helps. If you are not sure why a vision board will help you or how to make one, just keep reading and I have it all covered for you!

Why do I need it?

A vision board helps you in oh so many ways! Here are the three main reasons a vision board helps you reach your goals.

1 |Clarify your vision.

It is hard to visualize the future we want. Even harder to get specific with these ideas for ourselves. With a vision board, we are asking ourselves to truly picture the life we want and the feelings we wish to have.

2 |Life is distracting.

We can feel as if we are pulled in a million different directions with everyone needing something from us- work, school, family, friends… This makes it extremely hard to focus on our own vision. It is all too easy to lose sight of what we want, which is why we need the vision board to keep reminding us.

3 |Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is the idea that what we focus on in life allows us to attract it. The same idea as to whatever you focus on expands. The vision boards reinforce our vision and the intentions we are setting for our lives! Bringing this hope and positivity into your life will bring more hope and positivity while bringing you to your goals! (Similarly why I write in my gratitude journal daily!)

How To Make a Vision Board?

1 |Reflect!

Before making your vision board, you must reflect on your vision for yourselves. What do you want in life? What feelings do you want to have and what type of person do you want to be? What types of experiences do you want? There is a lot to consider when envisioning your future. The key component is what is important to you. To help you with your reflection I made a printable specifically for making your vision board- check it out here!

2 |Believe!

After reflecting on what you want, you must believe that these things are actually available to you! If you create your vision board but do not believe in yourself and your vision, it truly is not a vision board. You must feel connected to your dreams and trust in yourself and the process of life. Remember, the only limits in life you have are the ones you create for yourself! Positive growth is always an option.

Related: Five Lessons For Positive Growth From Caterpillars 

3 |Create!

Now that your vision and beliefs are in place all that is left is the physical board to display your future! You are free to use any method you want, but I prefer a board I can update and change frequently. Because of that I would suggest a magnetic or cork board rather than gluing right onto poster board. The images are also whatever you like best! You can go through magazines, search the internet, use personal photos or draw them yourself! Be sure every image is something that you want and feel a true connection to. Make time for yourself to make this vision board- be free from distractions and in a relaxing and pleasant environment to make the connection as strong as possible.

What to put on the Vision Board?

The vision board is for your vision! Therefore, you get to put whatever YOU want on the board!  In addition to the vision board planning printable I created for you, here is a little more help on what to put on your board.

Positive Affirmations. I have placed some positive affirmations on my vision board for motivation and to help remind myself that building my future, and myself, is a process. One that really speaks to me that is currently on my board is, “I am both a masterpiece and a work in progress.” – Sophia Bush

Past Accomplishments– I placed some photos or memorabilia from times I have surprised myself in a good way. Times when I was not sure how I would do it, but wow I did it! I found that adding these have helped remind me that I can do what I set my mind to! We need to celebrate our victories!

Someone You Admire– If there is a specific person who inspires you, feel free to put them on your vision board! Maybe it is someone you know that always seems to keep their cool and look on the bright side, or it is a famous poet who has inspired you to write.

When to look at your vision board?

Place your vision board somewhere you can look at it easily and often! I have mine located right above my desk. This helps me when I am working and start to feel stuck. I just take a step back, look at my vision board, drink some water, and remember what I am working for!  

Your vision board is such an important tool and the more we are able to spend time visualizing our future positively, the better! You can even take a picture of your vision board to make it your screensaver on your phone and laptop! Make it a habit to look at your vision board at minimum twice a day, every morning and night. You can even add this to your habit tracker! I like to also imagine my board as I fall asleep at night, allowing my visions to make their way into my dreams.  

Related: Morning Routines! Benefits and How To Create A Positive Start Daily

Make Your Vision

Do you have a vision board? Does my post make you want to create one? If so, I would love to see the vision board you create- just tag @Brightside_Bear on social media! Please comment below and tell me what you think of my tips and if you have any tips to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

Written with love for you,

Brightside Bear

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Mental Health | Relationships | Self-Care

Taking Off the “I’m Fine” Mask

By on January 29, 2018
taking off the I'm fine mask

Fine Culture

I think the cultural norm of asking people how they are and replying in a simple and polite way has slipped into my close relationships. My mind replies to everyone in the polite, simple way that is masking my true feelings. 

Now, I am not saying to tell the nice barista your life story when she is asking for your order during the morning rush. There are times when people are in fact just asking how you are doing to be polite and for casual small talk because it has become a social norm. But your support system and loved ones do care how you are doing when they ask! Keep reading to learn why we need to take off the “I’m fine” mask and four steps to take!

Why Stop

When our loved ones are asking us how we are, they do so because they really do care. They are not exchanging simple small talk- they care about you and want to be there for you! Think about it like this- wouldn’t you want to know if your loved one was not fine?  By saying you are fine when you are not, you are building a wall of isolation around you. Your loved ones are unable to be there for you because you are not letting them. So, how do we tear down the “I’m fine” wall that is keeping us from receiving help and support?  Keep reading to see how I am breaking down this wall!

How to Stop

1 | Reflect

Why do I say I am fine when I am not? Why do I have this reaction to put on a mask? Take some time to think of yourself in your “I’m fine” mindset. Why are you keeping the mask on? I decided to journal about this to help clarify my thoughts.

After my reflection, here are five of the reasons why I respond with “I’m fine” that I think are probably common ones.

Your reasons might be similar or completely different. The important reason is to reflect on why you are putting this mask on for your loved ones. The book Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families is a wonderful resource for helping you be honest with your feelings and the reason behind them (you can read my book review here).

2 | Reach Out

It is so hard to ask for help! It does not help when you are telling others you are fine when you are not- creating more isolation. When I was in a better mental state, I told my support system about my automatic response. I told them how I heard the words leave my mouth, but they seemed out of my control. I told my support about my reflection and why I might have this response now. Yes, this was a hard conversation to have. But, it was necessary! Your support needs to know when you need them in order to help and support you. I kept reminding myself if the roles were reversed I would want a loved one to reach out to me. Help them help you.

3 | Develop a Plan

Time for more reflection! What is it that you really need when you tell someone you’re fine? Do you need a listening ear? A positive distraction? A big (Brightside) bear hug? Maybe it varies, is a combination of all three, or something completely different. That is more than okay.

To begin, I told my support that I need them to be persistent in asking me what is wrong, to the point of nagging me. I needed help breaking my automatic response. Then we brainstormed some other ways to open up in these situations. For instance, instead of asking “How are you? asking, “What emotions are you feeling right now?” allows for a different mindset.

Talk to your support about what could help you open up or help you feel better in these situations and develop a plan. I also came up with using code words with my support! This was so helpful that I wrote an entire article just about using code words with your support that you can check out here!

4 | Practice Speaking Up

What is going on in your life? How are you really feeling? Becoming more honest and aware of your emotions in general will help you from putting on your fine mask. It can be scary talking about our emotions and what is going on. I am a big fan of writing about your feelings to help you process what is happening. Many times I have journaled about something and then talked to someone about the same issue. You can even write your loved one a letter about what is going on. Another option is to set aside time with your support for regular check-ins. This could be anything from a weekly dinner together to a daily chat. I am forever grateful that I live with my support. We have made it a habit – even on our habit trackers – to go on a walk together daily. On our walks we leave our phones behind and just talk about our days, checking in with one another.

RELATED: Using a Journal for Self-Care: Six Benefits of Writing it Out

Not Fine

It is okay to not be okay in life, just remember that everything is temporary. You might need help changing perspective or bringing more gratitude into your life. Be sure to keep up with your self-care! Seemingly simple things such as staying hydrated and having a clean space help us more than we realize! Of course be sure to show appreciation to your support too!

Do you find yourself telling your support that you are fine when you are not? Please comment below and tell me what you think of my tips and if you have any tips to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Brightside Bear  

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Mental Health | Self-Care

Why Done Lists Help My Mental Health

By on January 15, 2018
To do list to done list mental health

From To-Do List to Done List

To do lists. Some people live by them, others avoid them like the plague. I have personally done both in my life. I noticed that my to-do lists do not help me when my mental health is suffering though. In fact, to do lists actually make my mental health and productivity worse.

A big reason to do lists don’t work is because they are overwhelming. At first, my mind is rushing with items that I need to get done and projects I must start right away. I feel the pressure to accomplish everything on my list and to do it as soon as possible. I feel the urgency to go task to task without a break- since I don’t see how I could possibly take a break with everything I need to do! What does all of this pressure do to me? The pressure makes me not even want to start the list. I don’t even want to look at the list. Instead of being motivated by my to-do list, I end up hiding from it! When I realized to do lists were not working for me, I decided something had to change. That was when I started to write down things I have already done- making a done list.

What To Put

What do you put on your done list? Whatever you have done that you want to put on the list. What goes on my done list varies with how my mental health is. I have days where I need to put down that I got out of bed in the morning and wrote in my gratitude journal. I will put other items that are also on my habit tracker like taking my medicine or staying hydrated. Other days, when my mental health is better, items on my done list might include meal prepping a meal I can eat all week long or doing items on my cleaning schedule. The bottom line is that your done list is just that- YOURS.

Why It Helps

There are two main reasons my done list works. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and encouragement. Not only that, but the done list is crazy simple to do. You can write your list anywhere- paper, computer, post it note, phone- anywhere!

1 | ACCOMPLISHMENT

When my mental health is suffering, I feel as if I am unable to accomplish anything. The days go by and it is as if I have just sat there while the sun and moon rotated around me. With my done list, I can see that I am actually just not giving myself enough credit. “Wow, even though I didn’t feel like getting out of bed today, I did. That really did take a lot of effort. I also took my medicine and did not allow my mindset to skip that today.” Seeing my done lists reminds me that every victory needs to be celebrated. It reminds me that self-care is vital and taking care of myself is so important!

RELATED: Your Little Victories and Big Reasons to Celebrate!

2 | ENCOURAGEMENT

While my to-do list is meant to encourage me, it ends up terrifying me. My done list, however, inspires me to do more. When I write out what I have accomplished, it motivates me to keep going. I can see that even though I didn’t think I could get out of bed, I did. What else can I do today? Maybe wash my face. Maybe tomorrow I will shower. Sometimes I have a running done list for the week, where I just draw lines dividing the days. This way, I can look back and see how much I have done the last few days- maybe I can even see how I have been able to add more items to my list as the days went on. I can see my work and progress and notice that I am in fact not just letting the days pass. I can see myself doing.

DO THE DONE LIST

I love my done list. It is simple, easy, and works for me. It helps me with motivation improves my mental health. and Do you keep a to-do list? How about a done list? Please comment to tell me your tips and your thoughts on my article! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Brightside Bear

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Mental Health | Self-Care

Cleaning Schedule and Mental Heatlth

By on January 8, 2018
cleaning schedule mental health

Life gets crazy at times. Our to-do lists pile up, things come up from our work and personal life, and it feels as if we can barely keep our heads above water. When life gets crazy, we put things on the back burner. Unfortunately, the first things usually put on the back burner are taking care of ourselves and our space!

Messiness Mentality

When my space is a mess, and I am in a bad place mentally, I feel like I cannot control anything in life. I come home after a long day, just to a big mess waiting for me at home. A mess that I do NOT have the time, energy, or mentality to deal with. Especially since it has been steadily getting worse day after day. It becomes a terrible cycle, with the mess being overwhelming and having more and more of a negative impact on my mentality.

What can I do? I can realize this relationship between cleanliness and mental health to change the cycle! Keep reading to find out how my cleaning schedule helped my mental health and four steps to make a cleaning schedule for yourself!

RELATED: Cleaning and Mental Health: Crazy Connections

Why I Started

1| No Surprises

Some surprises are wonderful in life! Realizing you have no clean clothes to wear or dishes to use is not one of them though. With my cleaning schedule, I have an excellent idea of when the chores will need to be done. I will not suddenly see my pile of laundry and think, “AGAIN! Didn’t I just do laundry?” I know ahead of time when chores will pile up, and which chores they are, because I see them on my schedule!

2| Sense of control

Before my cleaning schedule, I felt like my chores were controlling me. I would see the mess taunting me, demanding my attention. I felt like I lost control of my space because I let it get to this point. But with my schedule, I am back in control! It is important to note your schedule does not control you (more details on being flexible later on in the article). For example, I know that today is laundry day. I can choose to not do the laundry today, but I know that today is when I typically do laundry to stay on track.

3| Stay Ahead

As I mentioned in the intro, it is far too easy to put ourselves and our space on the backburner. With my cleaning schedule, I stay ahead of the game. I have a system in place to help make life easier for myself and my mental health. I am doing what I can so that when my mental health is suffering, I do not have a mess to worsen it.

4 Steps to a Cleaning Schedule

1| How often to clean what?

First you need to know how often you need to clean. When I first decided on making a cleaning schedule, I started tracking myself:  When does the laundry pile up? How many loads will it take to clean it all? When do I run the dishwasher? Be mindful of when things are getting messy, but not overwhelmingly so. There is a sweet spot, if you will, of seeing when your chores are needing attending to, but in manageable size. I wrote an article on the benefits of tracking our habits and mood and even made this tracking PDF that you could use for this step!

2| Make the Schedule

After tracking, you are able to make a schedule that best fits your cleaning needs. The schedule needs to coincide with your personal life and cleaning needs. Keep in mind your daily routines while making the cleaning schedule. Maybe vacuuming the house after your long Tuesday workdays is not the best plan.  I was surprised when I started making my schedule because of how manageable cleaning became. Why does cleaning seem so manageable now? Because I have a plan! I can evenly space out my cleaning routines so that I am not doing every chore on the same day. 

3| Be Flexible

Your cleaning schedule is not set in stone, and that is okay. There is no perfect cleaning schedule that everyone can follow. There are times in life when there is absolutely no way we can get the laundry done on laundry day. That is okay. You are not a slave to your cleaning schedule, it is made to help you. You can switch laundry day around, split it up into two days- whatever works!

Try different routines to see what you like best. Be okay with changing your schedule. At my old apartment, there was a window above the sink with a lovely view so I preferred to do dishes in the morning. However, my kitchen now is a pretty dark place and doing dishes at night and waking up to a clean space is much better for myself.

4| Stay Motivated

Now that you have your cleaning routine, you have to put it into action and stay with it! After you clean, pause and reflect. How does it feel to have a clean space? To have been the person responsible for its beauty? Write down your feelings. I personally feel accomplished, proud, and more appreciative for my space! You can even take a photo to remember how beautiful your space looks clean to help you remember why you made this routine in the first place! To help more with staying motivated, read my 5 tips for motivation here!

Your Schedule

The most important part about your cleaning schedule is that it is YOURS. Whatever works for you is what makes it right! You can schedule whatever you want! I even have a section of my habit tracker for a “15 minute clean”. I found that just picking up my space for 15 minutes makes such a difference- so I use it! Maybe it works if you do your laundry just one load at a time. Maybe it is better for you to run out of socks first. If it works for you, do it!

Do you notice a connection between your space’s cleanliness and your mental health? Do you have a cleaning schedule? Please comment to tell me your tips and your thoughts on my article! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

Written with love for you,

Brightside Bear

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