Category: Mental Health

Human Rights

You have rights. You have rights that are a fundamental part of being a human- rights you do not need to earn or be deemed “worthy” of. Unfortunately, many people do not believe that they have these rights. Issues with mental health, low self-esteem, and being mistreated by others all lead to this misconception that we either have to earn our rights or that we have no rights at all. It was not until I was in therapy and going through the recovery process that I discovered I have rights as an individual human being! I learned that I have always had these rights, I was just not aware of or honoring my rights. Not everyone was taught their rights as a child, but it is never too late to learn, and honor, your rights. Keep reading to learn what a bill of rights is, how your rights can help you, and how to claim your rights! I even listed 35 rights I believe every single person has- including you!

What is a Bill of Rights?

A bill of rights is a list of rights that you have innately and are a fundamental part of being a human. These rights can be thought of as guidelines because they set the standard for how you expect to be treated by others, and yourself. By creating your bill of rights, you are becoming your best advocate. You are clearly stating what you deserve and are acknowledging that you are worthy of these rights. Your bill of rights helps you in many ways including setting boundaries, validating your needs, and affirming your self-worth.

Your Bill of Rights

Take a moment to consider what rights you have. Even take out your journal to start really reflecting! After you write out the rights you have, look at the list I created below. Go through the list and reflect on each right individually. Ask yourself how you feel and if you believe you have this right. If you are unsure or think the answer is no, reflect on why you might feel this way.

Personal Bill Of Rights

Below I listed some of the rights I believe every single person has. This is not a complete list and feel free to comment and let me know what rights you think should be on the list too! Click here for my handy PDF version!

1 |I have the right to change and grow.

2 |I have the right to take care of myself, no matter what.

3 | I have the right to forgive others.

4 | I have the right to forgive myself.

5 | I have the right to give and receive love.

6 | I have the right to my own personal space and time needs.

7 | I have the right to follow my own values and standards.

8 | I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.

9 | I have the right to make my own decisions.

10 | I have the right to make mistakes and not be perfect.

11 | I have the right to be playful.

12 | I have the right to all of my feelings.

13 | I have the right to expect honesty from others.

14 | I have the right to determine and honor my own priorities.

15 | I have the right to dignity and respect.

16 | I have the right to end conversations with people who make me feel put down.

17 | I have the right to my needs and wants being respected by others.

18 | I have the right to privacy.

19 | I have the right to be happy.

20 | I have the right to say “I don’t know.”

21 | I have the right to feel scared and say that I am afraid.

22 | I have the right to say “no.”

23 | I have the right to change my mind.

24 | I have the right to not be responsible for other’s behaviors, actions, feelings, or problems.

25 | I have the right to ask for what I want.

26 | I have the right to be healthy.

27 | I have the right to express my feelings, both positive and negative.

28 | I have the right to be myself.

29 | I have the right to hold others accountable for their own behaviors and not take the blame.

30 | I have the right to create the future I want.

31 | I have the right to be angry at someone I love.

32 | I have the right to share my feelings if and when I choose.

33 | I have the right to set healthy boundaries.

34 | I have the right to recovery.

35 | I have the right to trust those who have earned it

Claiming Your Rights

Having low self-esteem and being mistreated makes it hard to know what rights you have and how you deserve to be treated. Even your basic rights and entitlements could go unnoticed and unmet. Acting as a people pleaser and using the word “should” also cause problems for honoring your rights. The good news is that it is never too late to start recognizing, believing, and acknowledging your rights! There are a lot of resources to help you out. I highly recommend the book Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families (read my review here), which helped me realize what my needs were and how I can get these needs met. I am also a fan of therapy and group therapy, both which have helped me greatly realize that I do have rights. I still use my positive affirmations to help with my self-esteem and have even used rights directly from the list I gave you!

How do you feel about your rights? Have you considered writing out your own bill of rights? What rights do you have or have trouble acknowledging?  Please comment below and tell me what you think of my article and any thoughts about your personal bill of rights! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

Written with love for you,

Brightside Bear

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Therapy is a wonderful resource that can help people in various aspects of their life. Dr. Neil Houston says that therapy is “about learning and applying the skills needed in order to grow from life’s ups and downs.” I believe that everyone can benefit from therapy because the essence of therapy is to help you heal and become the person you want to be. Even though I am now a big fan of therapy, I was intimidated when my therapist suggested I join group therapy. However, going to group therapy ended up being one of the best things I could have done -I outlined the top benefits for you below!

What is Group Therapy?

Group therapy is when a therapist (or group of therapists) lead a group of typically five to 15 people. The groups meet regularly and usually focus on a specific problem such as social anxiety, low-self esteem, grief, anger, depression and various other issues. The members of the group are typically screened beforehand to ensure a good fit for everyone involved. How each group works is different depending on the therapists, members, and goals of the group as a whole. My group therapy was largely discussion-based and had an open dialogue. The therapists had activities planned for some meetings and always guided the dialogue by asking us questions or our thoughts. We sat in a circle every week and usually started with a “check-in” since the last week. Even though groups vary in how they function, they traditionally have the same wonderful benefits!

Benefits of Group Therapy

Group therapy is a wonderful resource with a specific set of benefits that other therapies may not be able to offer you. Here are the top five benefits I experienced in group therapy!

1 | Giving and Receiving of Support

In individual therapy, the patient is receiving support from the therapist. In group therapy, the patient receives support from the therapist and the other members. The group becomes a support system as a whole. While you are being supported by the other members, you are also providing them support. Giving support to others is key to personal growth and healing just as much as receiving support is. It is okay if you are worried about not being able to support others right now, the group grows together as a support system!

2 | Realizing We Are Not Alone

It is all but too easy to feel alone in our distress. Yes, we have our own struggles, but we are not alone in our struggling. In group therapy, I was surprised at how other members’ stories seemed shockingly similar to mine or how multiple members have shared the same feelings. It is a wonderful feeling of belonging and a realization that we really are connected to those around us. Knowing others have had similar experiences makes it easier to open up about our thoughts and feelings.     

3 | Encouragement from Members

The bond I have been able to create in group therapy with the other members is unique and one of the strongest bonds I have been fortunate enough to experience. It did not take long for me to get excited to go to my weekly group meeting to hear how everyone was doing and to check in. It was wonderful to see the other members overcoming their issues and growing into a more positive person! When we are able to see our peers accomplish this, we have more belief in ourselves! I was encouraged every week because of not only what the other members said, but how they acted as well.

4 | Different Perspectives

The honest perspectives from members of the group is an extremely unique and beneficial aspect of group therapy. The members are in different stages of recovery and come from different backgrounds which helps create everyone’s unique perspective. When we have a situation that is confusing or difficult, having more perspectives can help you have a clearer picture or think in a way you otherwise would not have. Additionally, this helps you learn to think outside of your own perspective more. In group therapy, you learn as much listening as you do sharing because of the wisdom shared.

5 | Relationship Help

Group therapy helps with your relationships because it improves your communication skills and ability to connect with others on a deeper level. This is a safe place to practice appropriate confrontations and receive honest feedback from others. Group therapy allows you to talk about your feelings in a safe place and you do not need to wear a mask, pretending that everything is okay. When you begin to open up about your feelings, it becomes easier to process and express them appropriately. In the book Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families, Dr. Whitifield stresses how important opening up to others is. He says, “Feelings are our most helpful link in our relationships with ourselves, others and the world around us” (read my book review here!)

Best Therapy For You

The question of which therapy is best has a very individualized answer. The therapy that is best depends on you and where you are in the recovery process. The answer is different from someone else and possibly even who you were a year ago. In my article on how to get the most out of therapy, I mention how important it is to see if you are progressing. If you are progressing and growing in therapy, you are doing therapy right. Your recovery program is unique to your needs! Group therapy is commonly used in conjunction with individual therapy or other treatment methods. Remember, what matters is what works best for you!

Have you tried group therapy? Is something holding you back from trying? Let me know! Please comment below and tell me what you think of my top benefits of group therapy and what ones you have to add! Remember, help is always available for you! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Brightside Bear  

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Have you ever started cooking a meal, writing a paper, or working on some kind of project but ended up not finishing because you thought it was ruined? You may have restarted it or decided against the project altogether. You are not alone! I was in an art class when I learned the “unbaked cake theory.” My teacher explained how a baker would never take their cake out of the oven twenty minutes before it was done baking to see if it tastes right. The bakers wait. They wait until the cake is finished baking completely and then they try it and decide how it tastes. If the baker tried their unbaked cake it would taste terrible…  well, because the cake needs to finish baking!

My art teacher told my class this theory after many people kept throwing out and restarting their work because they deemed it “ruined”. But their work was not ruined, it was just not completely baked! I really took the unbaked cake theory to heart and started thinking about how much it applies to my life! Keep reading to learn the reasons why you are not baking the cake all of the way, how to help, and what happens when you do bake the cake all of the way!

Am I not baking the cake all of the way?

While I learned the unbaked cake theory in an art class, I could not help but think of all of the unbaked cakes I have had in my life! I have been notorious for deciding I “ruined” a recipe for a meal and throwing it all away! It was not until pretty recently I decided to keep trying to make the meal until the end- then decide it really was inedible or an interesting creation. If you follow me on Instagram, you might know that I am also learning how to draw! It came to a point where I had more incomplete drawings that I did not want to finish than completed works of art. I had trouble seeing the potential. When learning a new sport people might think they do not have the skills they need to play and quit altogether, but they might just need more practice. Evaluate your life and see where you tend to leave cakes unbaked. Below I listed some reasons why you might not be baking the cake all the way. 

Why do we not bake the cake all the way? 

1 | We are afraid of failure.

Failure is scary. Unfortunately, just the thought of failure stops many people from trying. If failure scares you, check out my article on three reasons to not fear failure and how to fail the right way! When failure stops us from trying, it makes it impossible to succeed! However, when we push past the fear of failure, the possibilities are endless!

2 | We are impatient.

We live in a fast-paced world. It is all but too easy to think of a project as ruined and to start again from the beginning with the mindset that it will work out this time- or to give up the project altogether. But, if you are going to restart you are already losing all of the time you have already put into this project that could be salvaged! Patience is key to many things in life and the unbaked cake theory is no different. Lucky for us, we can work on and improve our patients! 

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.” David G. Allen

3 | We get frustrated with the learning process.

Sometimes we get discouraged while trying to learn something new and think we just cannot do it. The learning process is just that- a process with highs and lows. The learning process is also very individualized. Did you know there are seven different learning styles? Changing how you are going about something could make all the difference! Check out these learning tips to help you succeed!

4 | We do not believe in ourselves

I will admit that not believing in myself has resulted in plenty of unbaked cakes. Sometimes our minds cannot see the light. We have a hard time trying to understand how what we are working on will actually come together for us- or how we can make this work. But, nothing positive ever came from negative thinking!

How to Bake the Cake All The Way

Baking the cake all of the way sounds easy enough. Just keep going, right? Not exactly. There is a reason the unbaked cake theory exists and here are some tips to keep on baking your cake!

1 | Take a break.

When things seem to be going wrong and you feel yourself getting frustrated, this is the time to take a break. Working when you are upset makes it more likely you will make a mistake and you are not thinking clearly. Take a moment to walk away and drink a glass of water to help calm you down. You can even go into your self-care kit to help get you relaxed before you get back in the zone!

“If you get tired, learn to rest, not quit.” Banksy

2 | Believe in yourself.

Believing in yourself opens you up to countless possibilities! Believing in myself has been a process, but I have been getting better! Positive affirmations have helped me believe in myself more- and they are so simple to use! The book You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life is a great read on the subject too (check out my review here).

3 | Be proud of yourself.

You did it! You did not give up! When you thought the odds were against you, you kept on trying. If that is not something to celebrate then I do not know what is! I am a big fan of celebrating our little victories and when I keep baking cakes, I see it as a huge victory!

RELATED: Your Little Victories and Big Reasons to Celebrate!

4 | Stay Motivated

It can be hard to stay motivated, especially when we think something has gone wrong. Make a list of reasons why you want to accomplish this goal and write out why you may not be motivated. My vision board has been an enormous help in helping me stay motivated! Check out some more motivation tips here.

What happens when we bake the cake all the way?

When we bake the cake all of the way, only good things happen! There are two possible outcomes of a cake when you bake it: the cake is good or the cake is… not so good. The cake that does not turn out good is not a failure though. The cake shows your perseverance and how you still believe in yourself when the odds may have been against you. Both cakes should be celebrated because you put the work into them!

My Unbaked Cakes  

Just last week I had an unbaked cake I almost did not finish! Well, it was muffins technically. I used baking powder instead of baking soda in the recipe and noticed right before I poured the batter into my reusable liners! If this happened even a few months ago I probably would have thrown out the entire batter. But I took a different approach. I had a mini freak out, took a deep breath, and went to the one with all of the answers: Google. I found the ratio for substituting baking powder for baking soda and added it to mixing bowl. Can you guess what happened when my muffins were done baking? Well, they did not taste good. Yes, I was disappointed about the gummy muffins I made. BUT I was more proud of myself for pushing through and trying to make it work!

Please comment below and tell me what you think of the unbaked cake theory! Can you relate to the theory and leaving cakes unbaked in your life? If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Brightside Bear  

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Learning something new is part of life! We are continually growing and adjusting to the world around us. While learning is wonderful, it is not an entirely easy process. If you do not know what you should learn next, I made this worksheet with 25 ideas for you– plus an article on the benefits of learning if you need a little more convincing. Keep reading to learn how we learn and six tips to help you through the process!

RELATED: Five Reasons to Start Learning Something New Today

Learning Style 

Everyone is unique, and everyone’s learning style is unique. Did you know there are seven different learning styles? Before looking into this, I thought there were just three– physical, auditory and visual. But there are seven! I made an infographic to show you the different learning styles or you could read about them here!

Knowing your learning style is great because you can adjust the way you are learning to better fit you. There is no single best way to learn, you can have a mix of different learning styles, and your learning style can change. I guess this shows how true it was that everything is temporary, even our learning styles.  Take this free quiz here that gives your results in a lovely graph showing how much of each learning type you are! After finding your learning style, you can use the tips I outlined below to get the best learning experience!

Tips on Learning

1 | Measure your progress

It can be easy to feel like we are not making progress when in fact we are!  We must compare our progress to ourselves, not to what someone else can do. This can be hard when we see others lives’ on social media and find ourselves in comparison with them- but we are only in competition with ourselves! Use your habit tracker to measure how often you are practicing and take notes with what is working and what is not. You can use your journal to write down how your progress is going and how you feel about the process too!

2 | Reward Yourself

Be proud that you are learning something new! It is all too easy to stay in our comfort zones so the fact that you are working towards something and growing is amazing! You can use this habit tracker to mark off after you have spent a certain amount of time on what you are learning. Maybe you reward yourself after you practice for two weeks straight or if you practice a certain number of days a month. Make sure you choose your reward and standards early and state them clearly!

RELATED: Your Little Victories and Big Reasons to Celebrate!

3 | Stay motivated

Learning something new can be a frustrating process. That is why staying motivated is key (check out my article on five tips for motivation here)! An amazing motivation tool I use is my vision board! Whatever you are learning, you can put a representation of it up on your vision board! I also have a section on my vision board for past accomplishments as a reminder of what I am capable of! If you want help, I created a vision board printable to help get you started!

4 | Utilize Help

When you are learning something new, you do not need to learn on your own, unless you prefer to. There are so many ways we can learn in this day and age! There are a lot of workshops, online classes, and even free YouTube classes to help teach you something new! Maybe you can find a whole group of beginners learning what you are. There is no shame in starting from the beginning- because, really, where else are you supposed to start? Use your support system and remember that you are never alone!

5 | Learning is Not Linear and Takes Time

Remember that we should not be afraid of failure, but how we recover from failure. Learning is a process with ups and downs. But no matter where you are in the learning process, you are still learning- which you should be proud of! When you are struggling it is also showing how hard you are working to learn- and a sign that you will be up soon! Results will not come right away, but as long as you are putting in the time and effort to practice and learn you are on the right track! I made this chart below to show how you progress over time when learning.

6 | Have Fun

Have fun with the learning process – choose to learn a song on the piano you love to sing or make a craft that makes you laugh! When I took a ceramics class we had to build a teapot for our project. I was struggling a lot in the class but there was no size requirement. So I built a teapot that can fit in my hand. Instead of stressing over not being able to use the ceramic wheel, I embraced my level of ceramics and love my handheld teapot (that would spill any liquid if used and whose lid does not fit). It is exciting to learn something new and it should be another positive part of your life!

Learning For Life

I am planning to never stop learning- maybe I will be able to learn all 25 on this list! Life is full of wondrous adventure out there and one way to create some adventure is learning something new! Now that you know your learning style and these tips you are well on your way to a life full of learning!

Do you know what learning styles you have?  Please comment below and tell me what you think of my tips on learning something new and any of yours to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Brightside Bear  

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Failure 

Failure. The word itself is a little scary.  While failure is a part of life, it is still avoided like the plague. It is a subject that no one particularly likes to talk about, but I am here to tell you the good side of failure! Below I outlined the three reasons why we should not be scared of failure and four ways on how to fail (the right way)!

Why We Shouldn’t Fear Failure 

1 | NO ONE IS PERFECT 

You have failed before, I have failed before, everyone has failed before. And guess what? We will all fail again! Failure is inevitable.  We might have the misconception from social media that no one fails, but oh how wrong that is. Even those we look up to have failed. J.K. Rowling’s manuscript for Harry Potter was rejected by 12 different publishing houses! That means her manuscript failed her 12 times. But because J.K. Rowling did not let those failures stop her, Harry Potter has turned into a series of novels and movies, along with an entire Harry Potter World amusement park!  

RELATED: How to Take Your Social Media From Toxic to Inspirational

2 | YOU LEARNED

Failure is one of the best lessons we receive from life. The only way to avoid failure is to never try. Failure often ends with, “I will never do that again!” Something I will never do again is substituting granulated sugar for powdered sugar in an icing recipe! It only took the one time (or taste) to learn that lesson! I also learned to make sure my car headlights are turned off at night, or I will be late the next day because of a dead car battery. Success is knowing what to do, but also what not to do. While it is difficult in a moment of defeat to look for lessons, they are always there. It is a good thing to learn– even if you stumbled along the way.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Thomas A. Edison

3 | IT IS NOT THE END 

As with everything in life, failure is temporary. We have to move on from our failure and see where we should go next. While we might need to fail in order to succeed, there is no need to stay in this place of failure. We can still be grateful for this experience, believe in ourselves, and be motivated to succeed. Can you imagine if J.K. Rowling let her first rejection of Harry Potter be the end? Me either- and I do not want to!

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill.

HOW TO FAIL

Because failure is inevitable, we should not be concerned with if we fail but how we fail. Think of yourself as setting an example. When you succeed, you will inspire others. But, failure will still be part of your story. Because we cannot avoid failure, we have to learn how to fail. I know it seems funny to learn how to fail, but it is very simple.

1 | Take Responsibility

2 | Do not overreact

3 | View failing as learning

4 | Move on

That is it! Accepting failure and moving on are key parts in succeeding! It is easier said than done to move on from a failure, but remember that you are not alone! Reach out to a loved one about your struggles, journal about what is going on, take care of yourself, and be proud of your positive growth! Before you know it, you will stay motivated and will be making your vision board a reality!

What are your thoughts on failure? How has failure served you? Do you have any “I will never do that!” stories to share? Please comment below and tell me what you think of my thoughts on failure and any of yours to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Brightside Bear  

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Humans are creatures of habit. While building and keeping good habits is a wonderful thing, we must continue to learn new things too! The world is filled with oh so much for us- so many hobbies to try, places to see, sports to play, and everything to learn! When was the last time you learned something new? When was the last time you learned something new for yourself- because you found it interesting and fun? I love trying new things and below I outlined five reasons why you should learn something new! Plus some ideas on what to try and how you can try them!

“The expert at anything was once a beginner.” Helen Hayes Click To Tweet

Why Learn?

1| Overcome Fear

Trying something new is scary! You are going outside of your comfort zone, and that is brave! It is okay to be nervous and scared trying something new, the important thing is that you are pushing past your nerves. By overcoming your fear, you will be able to say “yes” more in life. When you face the fear of being a beginner, you are welcoming positive growth in your life! You grow as a person by improving yourself for the better and learning new things.

RELATED: Three Reasons to Not Fear Failure and How to Fail the Right Way!

2| Discover Yourself

The next thing you learn could be your passion, your hidden talent, or the calling you never knew you had. How crazy is that? You truly have no idea what hidden talents you possess or what interests you have until you experiment and try new things! You are able to figure out what you like, what you don’t like, and find patterns about yourself when you learn new things. Your interests and talents change and develop too. I used to be embarrassed by my writing and never would have thought of writing for an audience like this! But now here I am writing for you, journaling for myself, and writing snail mail!

3| Sense of Accomplishment

Before learning something new, you might view that task as impossible. Maybe you want to learn a new instrument or paint a beautiful work of work. Whatever it is that you accomplish will be done because you made the effort to try something new and stayed motivated to keep with it! What a wonderful feeling it will be when you go from not being able to read music notes to playing a song on your instrument! Or when you see your simple sketches develop into your completed painting! You will be impressed with your new abilities and seeing what you are capable of doing as long as you put your mind to it.

RELATED: Your Little Victories and Bog Reasons to Celebrate

4| Endless Possibilities

Learning something new opens up many doors for you! Besides the obvious benefit of the new skill or knowledge itself, there are a lot of other benefits. You will have opportunities that were not possible before. Maybe this new skill will be a way of earning some extra money- or a new career entirely. You will have the chance to meet new people with this same interest as you and you can build meaningful relationships together. Who knows what this newness will bring you! (well besides the added sense of accomplishment, increased sense of self, and other positive aspects.. )

5| Easier to Learn More

Learning something new makes it easier for you to learn more new things- it is a wonderful domino effect! Myelin is the matter in a brain that helps your learning process and improves performance. Practicing new skills repeatedly strengthens the myelin, which makes learning new things easier and easier.  Even if your new skill is completely unrelated, you will be able to pick it up easier just for the fact that you have been learning in general. Use your habit tracker to help stay on track with what you are learning!

What to try?

When it comes to learning something new, the possibilities are endless! Think of something you are genuinely curious about, something you would like to create, something you would like to experience, or maybe a passion you would like to learn the next level of. You can try something physical, like a new sport. Maybe you want to pick up a new hobby such as bird watching. You could also try a new craft as in crocheting or scrapbooking. Another idea is to learn a new language so you can travel somewhere on your vision board. Whatever it is you want to learn, you can do it. I even created a PDF with 25 ideas of what to learn you can check out here!

How to Try?

After you decide on what you want to learn, you have to figure out how you want to learn it. Luckily, there are many options available! The library is a wonderful resource for you to check out books and videos on what you want to learn and some even offer free classes! Another free option would be through websites such as YouTube or blogs where you can learn online. Community colleges offer a wide variety of classes for you to learn and offer some courses from beginner to expert! If you are not sure how you can learn what you want to, just start exploring the internet. Maybe there is a workshop coming to a town near you or a club that meets every week! I even wrote a complete article, Learning Tips! How to Succeed When Learning Something New! Check it out for some tips plus you can find out your learning style!

Learning for Life

Learning something new is a scary and exciting journey! What was something new you learned that had a huge impact on you? Maybe it was a sport that you do not play anymore, but the life lessons stayed with you. Please comment below and tell me what you think of my article and any thoughts about learning new things! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

Written with love just for you,

Brightside Bear  

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