Mental Health

Three Reasons to Not Fear Failure and How to Fail the Right Way!

By on March 20, 2018
getting past failure self help mental health

Failure 

Failure. The word itself is a little scary.  While failure is a part of life, it is still avoided like the plague. It is a subject that no one particularly likes to talk about, but I am here to tell you the good side of failure! Below I outlined the three reasons why we should not be scared of failure and four ways on how to fail (the right way)!

Why We Shouldn’t Fear Failure 

1 | NO ONE IS PERFECT 

You have failed before, I have failed before, everyone has failed before. And guess what? We will all fail again! Failure is inevitable.  We might have the misconception from social media that no one fails, but oh how wrong that is. Even those we look up to have failed. J.K. Rowling’s manuscript for Harry Potter was rejected by 12 different publishing houses! That means her manuscript failed her 12 times. But because J.K. Rowling did not let those failures stop her, Harry Potter has turned into a series of novels and movies, along with an entire Harry Potter World amusement park!  

RELATED: How to Take Your Social Media From Toxic to Inspirational

2 | YOU LEARNED

Failure is one of the best lessons we receive from life. The only way to avoid failure is to never try. Failure often ends with, “I will never do that again!” Something I will never do again is substituting granulated sugar for powdered sugar in an icing recipe! It only took the one time (or taste) to learn that lesson! I also learned to make sure my car headlights are turned off at night, or I will be late the next day because of a dead car battery. Success is knowing what to do, but also what not to do. While it is difficult in a moment of defeat to look for lessons, they are always there. It is a good thing to learn– even if you stumbled along the way.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Thomas A. Edison

3 | IT IS NOT THE END 

As with everything in life, failure is temporary. We have to move on from our failure and see where we should go next. While we might need to fail in order to succeed, there is no need to stay in this place of failure. We can still be grateful for this experience, believe in ourselves, and be motivated to succeed. Can you imagine if J.K. Rowling let her first rejection of Harry Potter be the end? Me either- and I do not want to!

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill.

HOW TO FAIL

Because failure is inevitable, we should not be concerned with if we fail but how we fail. Think of yourself as setting an example. When you succeed, you will inspire others. But, failure will still be part of your story. Because we cannot avoid failure, we have to learn how to fail. I know it seems funny to learn how to fail, but it is very simple.

1 | Take Responsibility

2 | Do not overreact

3 | View failing as learning

4 | Move on

That is it! Accepting failure and moving on are key parts in succeeding! It is easier said than done to move on from a failure, but remember that you are not alone! Reach out to a loved one about your struggles, journal about what is going on, take care of yourself, and be proud of your positive growth! Before you know it, you will stay motivated and will be making your vision board a reality!

What are your thoughts on failure? How has failure served you? Do you have any “I will never do that!” stories to share? Please comment below and tell me what you think of my thoughts on failure and any of yours to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Mental Health | Self-Care

8 Surprising Benefits of Gratitude and How to Practice Today

By on March 13, 2018
gratitude benefits and ways to practice

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”  Marcus Tullius Cicero

This quote about gratitude says just how important it is. Gratitude is when we feel and express appreciation for anything. Without gratitude, we would not be able to enjoy the beauty of the life we are blessed with. It is so simple, yet oh so powerful. You can never, ever have too much gratitude in your life! In fact, gratitude impacts your life more than you might think. Besides being happier because you are acknowledging all of the positive around you, there are also physical, social, and emotional benefits to gratitude! I could go on and on about the wonderful side effects of gratitude, but I listed the ones I found most interesting and unusual. Keep reading to see the top eight reasons to add more gratitude to your life (plus ways to practice today)!

1 | Physical Health 

Being more grateful can improve your physical health*. It might sound strange, but there is a reason for this connection. When you are grateful for your life, you want to make the most of it. With a happier outlook, you tend to take care of yourself more and live a more active lifestyle. A study found that grateful people feel healthier and experience fewer aches and pains. They also attended check-ups more regularly and take charge of their future.

2 | Sleep 

Going along with better physical health is improved sleep! It has been shown* that people who practice gratitude not only sleep better but sleep longer too! This might be a result of taking better care of yourself. Maybe the happier thoughts throughout the day lead to sweeter dreams. After making my vision board, I have been envisioning it before I fall asleep and focusing on the good I have and the good I am working towards.

3 | Patience

Patience is something everyone struggles with now and again. But did you know practicing gratitude can make you more patient*? I was surprised too! It turns out that people who practice gratitude for the “little” everyday things were also more patient (shoutout to my daily gratitude journal). I have found that after starting my gratitude journal, I feel a deeper appreciation for everything. Now I am able to wait for something I want easier because I know it is worth the wait or I am able to allow my gratitude to be stronger than my annoyance.

4 | Self-Esteem 

When you increase your gratitude, you notice more positive things about your life. You also start seeing yourself more positively. The positivity of your life overflows into a positivity about yourself- especially if you are using positive affirmations. A study* was done to test the relationship and it is true, a grateful person also has higher self-esteem. This could be because of less social comparisons and that you are now feeling grateful for someone else’s success.

5 | Resilience 

Gratitude not only helps you see the good things you have, but it allows you to overcome the hard times in life too. When you are practicing gratitude, you are being positive and in the moment, focusing on only the wonderful things that are happening right now. There have been multiple studiesdone to show how gratitude helps with overcoming trauma. I see this as being related to seeing our blessings in disguise too.

6 | Kindness

Someone who practices gratitude also practices kindness, even when someone is rude to them. When you express gratitude you are showing appreciation for the good and not letting the bad get in the way of seeing the positivity. It has been shown* that people who practice gratitude more are not only more likely to express empathy and sympathy but are also less likely to experience aggression and seek revenge (check out my reasons to say no to revenge here!).   

7 | Relationships 

In a relationship, it is important to show appreciation to one another and tell someone how much they mean to you. Not only is gratitude key to your existing relationships, but it could also help create future relationships. When meeting someone, they are more likely to see an ongoing relationship when they are thanked and appreciated*. They can probably sense the kindness and positive mindset that comes with the gratitude! I mean, who wouldn’t want to be friends with a grateful person?

8 | Positivity

When you are more grateful, you have more things to be grateful for. The Law of Attraction is the idea that when we focus on something in life, we attract it (why I have my vision board!). In gratitude, this could not be truer. Since I started adding more gratitude into my life, I have found more to be grateful for. I think it is a combination of attracting positivity and acknowledging the “little” things.

Gratitude: Unlimited Reasons and Ways 

There are so many reasons to practice gratitude! I have only mentioned eight above, so you might have to find more on your own! Don’t worry though, here are some ways you can start practicing today!

Say “Thank you”! Never underestimate how powerful our words are to others! It is important to be vulnerable and to be appreciative in relationships

Blessings in disguise! Seeing the positive in the hardest of times proves that there is always something to be thankful for. Read my article about finding your blessings in disguise here!

Gratitude List! Take out a piece of paper and fill the page with things you are grateful for! If you feel stuck, take a few deep breaths and keep thinking. You will be amazed at how much there is to be grateful for!

Thank You Letter! It is no surprise that I am a fan of snail mail! Thank you letters are a classic way to show your appreciation with a unique touch.

Gratitude Journal! Every day I write in my gratitude journal- read here to see how to start yours! I even have it on my habit tracker to make sure I reflect daily!

Volunteer and Donate! A great way to show your appreciation for a cause or organization is to get involved! You can show you care by helping out and giving back. Plus, volunteering has benefits on its own!

Positive Affirmations! It is important to show appreciation for yourself! Positive affirmations are a wonderful tool for this- check out my article all about what positive affirmations are and how to use them!

How do you practice gratitude? How has someone truly showed you gratitude before? Let me know! Please comment below and tell me what you think of my top benefits of gratitude and what ones you have to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Mental Health

Five Reasons to Start Learning Something New Today

By on March 6, 2018
five reasons to learn something new plus tips and ideas

Humans are creatures of habit. While building and keeping good habits is a wonderful thing, we must continue to learn new things too! The world is filled with oh so much for us- so many hobbies to try, places to see, sports to play, and everything to learn! When was the last time you learned something new? When was the last time you learned something new for yourself- because you found it interesting and fun? I love trying new things and below I outlined five reasons why you should learn something new! Plus some ideas on what to try and how you can try them!

“The expert at anything was once a beginner.” Helen Hayes Share on X

Why Learn?

1| Overcome Fear

Trying something new is scary! You are going outside of your comfort zone, and that is brave! It is okay to be nervous and scared trying something new, the important thing is that you are pushing past your nerves. By overcoming your fear, you will be able to say “yes” more in life. When you face the fear of being a beginner, you are welcoming positive growth in your life! You grow as a person by improving yourself for the better and learning new things.

RELATED: Three Reasons to Not Fear Failure and How to Fail the Right Way!

2| Discover Yourself

The next thing you learn could be your passion, your hidden talent, or the calling you never knew you had. How crazy is that? You truly have no idea what hidden talents you possess or what interests you have until you experiment and try new things! You are able to figure out what you like, what you don’t like, and find patterns about yourself when you learn new things. Your interests and talents change and develop too. I used to be embarrassed by my writing and never would have thought of writing for an audience like this! But now here I am writing for you, journaling for myself, and writing snail mail!

3| Sense of Accomplishment

Before learning something new, you might view that task as impossible. Maybe you want to learn a new instrument or paint a beautiful work of work. Whatever it is that you accomplish will be done because you made the effort to try something new and stayed motivated to keep with it! What a wonderful feeling it will be when you go from not being able to read music notes to playing a song on your instrument! Or when you see your simple sketches develop into your completed painting! You will be impressed with your new abilities and seeing what you are capable of doing as long as you put your mind to it.

RELATED: Your Little Victories and Bog Reasons to Celebrate

4| Endless Possibilities

Learning something new opens up many doors for you! Besides the obvious benefit of the new skill or knowledge itself, there are a lot of other benefits. You will have opportunities that were not possible before. Maybe this new skill will be a way of earning some extra money- or a new career entirely. You will have the chance to meet new people with this same interest as you and you can build meaningful relationships together. Who knows what this newness will bring you! (well besides the added sense of accomplishment, increased sense of self, and other positive aspects.. )

5| Easier to Learn More

Learning something new makes it easier for you to learn more new things- it is a wonderful domino effect! Myelin is the matter in a brain that helps your learning process and improves performance. Practicing new skills repeatedly strengthens the myelin, which makes learning new things easier and easier.  Even if your new skill is completely unrelated, you will be able to pick it up easier just for the fact that you have been learning in general. Use your habit tracker to help stay on track with what you are learning!

What to try?

When it comes to learning something new, the possibilities are endless! Think of something you are genuinely curious about, something you would like to create, something you would like to experience, or maybe a passion you would like to learn the next level of. You can try something physical, like a new sport. Maybe you want to pick up a new hobby such as bird watching. You could also try a new craft as in crocheting or scrapbooking. Another idea is to learn a new language so you can travel somewhere on your vision board. Whatever it is you want to learn, you can do it. I even created a PDF with 25 ideas of what to learn you can check out here!

How to Try?

After you decide on what you want to learn, you have to figure out how you want to learn it. Luckily, there are many options available! The library is a wonderful resource for you to check out books and videos on what you want to learn and some even offer free classes! Another free option would be through websites such as YouTube or blogs where you can learn online. Community colleges offer a wide variety of classes for you to learn and offer some courses from beginner to expert! If you are not sure how you can learn what you want to, just start exploring the internet. Maybe there is a workshop coming to a town near you or a club that meets every week! I even wrote a complete article, Learning Tips! How to Succeed When Learning Something New! Check it out for some tips plus you can find out your learning style!

Learning for Life

Learning something new is a scary and exciting journey! What was something new you learned that had a huge impact on you? Maybe it was a sport that you do not play anymore, but the life lessons stayed with you. Please comment below and tell me what you think of my article and any thoughts about learning new things! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Self-Care

Using a Journal for Self-Care: Six Benefits of Writing it Out

By on February 27, 2018
journaling for self-care

Journaling It Out!

Journaling is a wonderful self-care tool that can help us understand and handle our emotions in an entirely new way. Throughout life, I have kept a journal on and off…mostly off. After I began to realize the benefits of journaling, I decided to make a habit of it- especially when I was stressed. But, you do not need to be an avid journaler to get the benefits! If there is a difficult situation you are in, you are feeling lost, or just need to talk about something- journaling can help! Keep reading to learn the top six benefits of journaling- plus three tips to help you out!

Six Key Benefits

1| Slow Down

Journaling helps your mind slow down when you are feeling overwhelmed and as if your head is spinning. When you begin to write down your thoughts, your thinking slows down in a way for you to process and write them easily, leading you to understand them easier. When your thinking slows down you are also able to see new perspectives of the situation and truly pause in thought.

2| Emotional Intelligence

Journaling is a great way to help understand yourself and your emotions. When you are writing out what is happening, you can have a clearer view of why you are having these emotions. From this insight, we can make connections and even notice the habits we have and key stressors. Do you feel like a people pleaser around certain people? Do you notice your social media may be toxic? Journaling makes these connections clearer for you and assists in your positive growth.

RELATED: Four Reasons to Track Your Habits and Mood Plus Free Printable Planner

3| Communication

When you are journaling you are communicating, even if it is just with yourself and the paper. You are expressing yourself, talking about your emotions and/or life events. When you are able to communicate with yourself better, you are able to communicate with others better too. You can connect with others by writing your words in a letter or stating how you feel. (Check out my article on Taking off the “I’m Fine” Mask for help with communication skills!)

4| Problem Solving

Journaling is an amazing tool in problem solving. The combination of slowing down plus increased emotional intelligence and communication skills create a problem solving toolkit, if you will. Journaling enables you to gain new perspectives and to have a clearer vision of what is happening and what is important to you, allowing you to make better decisions and being calmer in the process. Many times I have found myself journaling about an issue only to have an “AH-HA!” moment of clarity in the situation.

5| More Positivity

Journaling is another way to add more positivity into your life! I have an entire gratitude journal that I use solely for listing three things I am grateful for daily- talk about focusing on the good in life! Your journal is your safe place to write about what makes you happy and to plan your ideal future. You can use your journal for helping with your positive affirmations and finding blessings in disguise– or anything else that brings you happiness! 

6| Stress Relief

While all of the above help us relieve stress, the very act of writing out what is going on is a stress reliever in itself. Have you ever had something you cannot get off of your mind until you are able to vent about it? That is the same exact concept, but you are venting on paper. Journaling is a healthy way to release the intense emotions you are feeling- plus you are able to understand them better. After venting on the paper, you are able to take your new or clearer perspective and stop overthinking. Exactly the reason why I have a journal in my self-care kit!

Three Rules For Journaling

In order to get the most out of journaling, there are only three rules-but they are key!

1| Uninterrupted

When you are journaling, you are only journaling. This is not a time to multitask, have the news on in the background, or have your phone notifications going off nonstop. Be fully present when you are journaling so you are able to truly experience your thoughts.

2| Unfiltered

Your journal is for your mental health benefit, not your writing skills. Do not get caught up in the punctuation, grammar, or spelling of your thoughts. Just write for the emotion and the thoughts behind them. That is the main point of journaling after all! Allow journaling to be an activity free of any judgment and rules.

3| Upbeat

Be sure your journaling does not turn into a novel of negativity. Yes, it is a wonderful place to vent about all of your thoughts and feelings. But, do not end on a negative note. Whether you are ending by reflecting on your blessings in disguise or writing out positive affirmations, make sure your journal is more positive than negative.

Journaling For Life

Journaling is something that can help in every aspect of life. Whether you are journaling for therapy, a relationship, or everyday life it is sure to help you and assist in positive growth.

RELATED: Morning Routines! Benefits and How to Create a Positive Start Daily

How do you feel about journaling? If you haven’t journaled in a while try it out and let me know how it goes! See how many of the benefits you can experience! Please comment below and tell me what you think of my article and any thoughts about journaling for self-care! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Mental Health | Self-Care

Using Positive Affirmations

By on February 20, 2018
positive affirmation

Positive Affirmations

Affirmations are a very powerful tool in self-care for helping us change the way we think. They assist us in focusing on the good things in life and giving us hope. Simply put, affirmations are positive statements you repeat to yourself. Positive affirmations have been used for centuries and it is very obvious why- they work! But what exactly are positive affirmations? How can positive statements truly help me? How do you use them effectively? Do not worry, I have it all covered for you below!

What are Positive Affirmations?

As I just mentioned, positive affirmations are positive statements you repeat to yourself. Any short and declarative statement will work for your affirmation! There are three simple rules for your affirmations to make them as effective as possible.

1 | Always in the present tense

Being fully present when you are repeating your affirmations is very important. You are focusing on who you are now. Do not dread the past or anticipate the future with your affirmations, be fully present. Focus on yourself and the affirmation.

2 | Only use positive words

Affirmations are focusing on the good. You want to focus on the positives and the hopes you have. Do not focus on what you do not want to happen! When you focus on what you do not want, you become filled with worry, fear, and what ifs. When you focus on what you want, you are using the law of attraction and reminding yourselves that what you want is available to you.

3 | Spoken as statements of facts and truth

When you are repeating your positive affirmations, you must believe them. If your affirmation is “You are strong,” you do not need to be the strongest person ever. You just need to believe in the strength you do have. You must believe what you are saying! Remember that you are growing continuously and becoming the positive affirmations.

Examples of Positive Affirmations

I am ready.

I am calm and capable.

I believe in the person I want to become.

I can do this.

I am both a masterpiece and work in progress.

I may not understand the good in this situation but it is there. (Blessing in disguise!)

I am worth loving. There is love all around me.

Why affirmations work

1 |Reframe the Moment

Positive affirmations reframe the moment you are in by focusing on the positive. Fear and negativity can be powerful emotions, but luckily so are hope and positivity. Positive affirmations use positive suggestion to take over those negative thoughts, if you will. You are refocusing on the good and boosting yourself emotionally in the process. Positive affirmations have the power to take your train of thought on an entirely new- and hopeful- path!

2 |Improve Self-Image

At first, your affirmations might feel…awkward. I know mine did. I had a tiny seed of belief that I trusted myself, but here I am repeating to myself, “I trust my inner wisdom and intuition.” However, the more I repeated the affirmation, the more I grew to believe it. I began to trust myself more and more. The new and positive self-talk might feel strange at first, but over time it will work its magic. As long as you are fully present and believe in your affirmations, your self-image will benefit greatly.

When to use Positive Affirmations?

Positive affirmations can be used at any time! Something I absolutely love about them! Positive affirmations can give you hope in a dark time and help with the understanding that everything is temporary. You can use your positive affirmations to help replace negative thoughts or use them alone to help build up your self-image and overall positive feelings. Another one of my favorite times to use them is first thing in the morning! Start your day off on the right foot by getting into the right mindset. Using a positive affirmation in the morning can set your goal and intention for the day and help bring you a sense of calm and strength to use throughout the day. You can also write out your positive affirmations so you can see them! I have several on my vision board to help!

RELATED: Morning Routines! Benefits and How To Create A Positive Start Daily

Am I Doing Positive Affirmations correctly?

Positive affirmations are very powerful, so we want to make sure we are using them as effectively as possible. In addition to the tips above about the affirmations themselves, here are some key tips when using these positive affirmations!

Use a mirror. Looking at yourself in the eyes while repeating the affirmation out loud makes the connection between yourself and the words stronger. Smile at yourself too- remember you are doing this to improve yourself!

Take it slow. Do not rush the affirmation. Speak slowly and clearly out loud, being sure to absorb every word and the meaning behind it. Feel the power of what you are saying.

Repeat. Repeat the affirmation at least three times during your session, the more the better. This is a mindful practice, where habit plays a key role as well.

Practice daily. The more we repeat our affirmations, the stronger the connections grow. Over time you will notice the positive impact these affirmations have on you. You can set aside time every morning to practice your affirmations and build your self-image (put it on your habit tracker!).

If you are unable to say your affirmation out loud, that does not mean you cannot say it to yourself! There have been times when I have started to feel anxious in public and start repeating these affirmations to myself. Even when I am not anxious but my mind is negatively wandering, I will start repeating my affirmations to myself.

Practicing Affirmations

Affirmations are something I believe are highly underrated today. After I started practicing affirmations, I could not stop! And believe me, I won’t! After learning about the connections between mental health and cleanliness, I even starting saying affirmations as I did dishes! Sure, it might look strange that I am shouting how awesome I am while I clean dirty plates- but who cares? I feel the positivity in my mind and body, and that is all that matters! Well, that and doing dishes I guess. The point is that affirmations are a resource that are always available to you, are easy to use, and works!

Do you use positive affirmations? Does my post motivate you want to start? Do you have favorite positive affirmations you use frequently? Let me know! Please comment below and tell me what you think of my tips and if you have any tips to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Mental Health | Self-Care

Vision Board: What, How, and Help Making Yours!

By on
vision board: how and why plus free printable

Visions for Yourself

Where do you see yourself in the future? What do you want to be, do, have, or feel in life? This is not an easy question to answer, but it is an important one. If we do not know what we want in life, then how can we go about our journey to get it? A vision board is an amazing tool to help you create this vision for yourself and make your vision happen right before your eyes!

“Don’t be a victim of circumstances and let life design you. Take an active role and be the one who designs your life.” -Unknown Share on X

What is a Vision Board?

A vision board is exactly what it sounds like- a physical representation of the visions you have for your life! You know the saying “a picture is worth 1,000 words”? Well, that is the whole idea with a vision board. Even if you have an idea of how you want your future to look, a vision board still helps. If you are not sure why a vision board will help you or how to make one, just keep reading and I have it all covered for you!

Why do I need it?

A vision board helps you in oh so many ways! Here are the three main reasons a vision board helps you reach your goals.

1 |Clarify your vision.

It is hard to visualize the future we want. Even harder to get specific with these ideas for ourselves. With a vision board, we are asking ourselves to truly picture the life we want and the feelings we wish to have.

2 |Life is distracting.

We can feel as if we are pulled in a million different directions with everyone needing something from us- work, school, family, friends… This makes it extremely hard to focus on our own vision. It is all too easy to lose sight of what we want, which is why we need the vision board to keep reminding us.

3 |Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is the idea that what we focus on in life allows us to attract it. The same idea as to whatever you focus on expands. The vision boards reinforce our vision and the intentions we are setting for our lives! Bringing this hope and positivity into your life will bring more hope and positivity while bringing you to your goals! (Similarly why I write in my gratitude journal daily!)

How To Make a Vision Board?

1 |Reflect!

Before making your vision board, you must reflect on your vision for yourselves. What do you want in life? What feelings do you want to have and what type of person do you want to be? What types of experiences do you want? There is a lot to consider when envisioning your future. The key component is what is important to you. To help you with your reflection I made a printable specifically for making your vision board- check it out here!

2 |Believe!

After reflecting on what you want, you must believe that these things are actually available to you! If you create your vision board but do not believe in yourself and your vision, it truly is not a vision board. You must feel connected to your dreams and trust in yourself and the process of life. Remember, the only limits in life you have are the ones you create for yourself! Positive growth is always an option.

Related: Five Lessons For Positive Growth From Caterpillars 

3 |Create!

Now that your vision and beliefs are in place all that is left is the physical board to display your future! You are free to use any method you want, but I prefer a board I can update and change frequently. Because of that I would suggest a magnetic or cork board rather than gluing right onto poster board. The images are also whatever you like best! You can go through magazines, search the internet, use personal photos or draw them yourself! Be sure every image is something that you want and feel a true connection to. Make time for yourself to make this vision board- be free from distractions and in a relaxing and pleasant environment to make the connection as strong as possible.

What to put on the Vision Board?

The vision board is for your vision! Therefore, you get to put whatever YOU want on the board!  In addition to the vision board planning printable I created for you, here is a little more help on what to put on your board.

Positive Affirmations. I have placed some positive affirmations on my vision board for motivation and to help remind myself that building my future, and myself, is a process. One that really speaks to me that is currently on my board is, “I am both a masterpiece and a work in progress.” – Sophia Bush

Past Accomplishments– I placed some photos or memorabilia from times I have surprised myself in a good way. Times when I was not sure how I would do it, but wow I did it! I found that adding these have helped remind me that I can do what I set my mind to! We need to celebrate our victories!

Someone You Admire– If there is a specific person who inspires you, feel free to put them on your vision board! Maybe it is someone you know that always seems to keep their cool and look on the bright side, or it is a famous poet who has inspired you to write.

When to look at your vision board?

Place your vision board somewhere you can look at it easily and often! I have mine located right above my desk. This helps me when I am working and start to feel stuck. I just take a step back, look at my vision board, drink some water, and remember what I am working for!  

Your vision board is such an important tool and the more we are able to spend time visualizing our future positively, the better! You can even take a picture of your vision board to make it your screensaver on your phone and laptop! Make it a habit to look at your vision board at minimum twice a day, every morning and night. You can even add this to your habit tracker! I like to also imagine my board as I fall asleep at night, allowing my visions to make their way into my dreams.  

Related: Morning Routines! Benefits and How To Create A Positive Start Daily

Make Your Vision

Do you have a vision board? Does my post make you want to create one? If so, I would love to see the vision board you create- just tag @Brightside_Bear on social media! Please comment below and tell me what you think of my tips and if you have any tips to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Mental Health

Five Lessons For Positive Growth From Caterpillars

By on February 12, 2018
lessons for positive growth from caterpillars

Growth is a beautiful, and necessary, part of life! But growth is also painful. It is easy to fantasize about the future while overlooking all of the work, struggle and obstacles you will have to overcome. Because life is constantly changing, we are constantly being asked to adjust.

Why Growing Pains

Even when change is a positive thing, we still experience growing pains. It is difficult going out of our comfort zone and changing the habits we have developed. But, that does not mean the growth should not happen! Beautiful and wonderful things happen outside of our comfort zone!

When I began to think of change, I immediately thought of a caterpillar growing into a butterfly. After some reflection of this beautiful creature, I realized there were so many lessons from the caterpillar’s journey to a butterfly we could learn from! Here are the five lessons from caterpillars I found helpful for our own growth.

1 | Nourishment for growth

Did you know that caterpillars eat almost non stop when they are born? They are fueling their body for what is about to happen! Filling themselves with the nourishment they need for the journey ahead. We need to nourish ourselves for growth before the transition too! But how? By surrounding ourselves with what allows and encourages us to grow and flourish. This means taking care of yourself! Making sure you are staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, as well as practicing self-care and gratitude are all ways to nourish yourself for positive growth. The book Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families served as an amazing resource for my growth- you can read my review here!

2 | Safe Space

After fueling up, the caterpillar finds a safe and sheltered spot for the transformation. They search for a safe space away from predators and harsh conditions to form their cocoon where the journey will take place. We must do the same with ourselves. Finding a safe place means both your physical space and emotional wellbeing. This calls for some evaluation of ourselves… How does your physical space look? The connections between our mental health and cleanliness of space are too strong to ignore. You can even make a self-care kit to create a calming space for yourself. How are your relationships? Reflect on how you feel with certain people. Do you find yourself being a people pleaser to others or being excited to see them? Is your social media toxic or inspirational? Evaluate your space and what is serving you for growth and what is holding you back.

3 | Everything We Need Is Inside of Us

When caterpillars are inside of their hard shell, their bodies are completely transformed. I always knew this, but recently I found out that their bodies change into 100% liquid form. The body is broken down entirely and then rebuilt into something new. Their body is recycled. I found this part of the process beautiful for the fact that everything the caterpillar needs to become a butterfly is already inside of itself! Too often when we are trying to have a positive change in our lives we feel that we are not enough and are not capable of becoming the person we envision ourselves becoming. We are not giving ourselves enough credit! Even when looking at the caterpillar and butterfly side by side it is hard to imagine that the caterpillar has everything to be a butterfly- but it is true. When going through changes we must remember that we are more than enough and have everything we need inside of ourselves.

4 | Cannot Tell From the Outside

When a caterpillar is hanging from the leaf in its safe space, the transformation taking place on the inside is invisible to us. The same is true for our change. We will be working so hard on ourselves, but others will not be able to see everything that is happening. The caterpillar is not bothered by those walking by not noticing the change it is working on, the caterpillar is just focused on itself. This is because the journey is not for those to watch, it is for the caterpillar to experience. Our journey of growth is for ourselves to feel and experience, not for others to watch.  

5 | Still Need to Find our Way

I always picture a butterfly flying out of its cocoon with such grace- floating towards the sunlight and above beautiful flowers! That is not what actually happens. When the butterfly emerges, its wings are still soft and still do not have all of the blood circulating. The butterfly needs to rest and learn a little before being able to fly off. We are no different! It is too easy to think that after the emotional growth we now know everything and are a new person. While we have grown a lot, we still need to learn and practice this growth. We need to work on keeping these positive habits we have developed!

Be the Butterfly

If there is one thing constant in life, it is change. Everything is temporary including where we are in life, which is why we have to continuously grow. By being aware of and tracking our habits, and staying motivated we can follow the caterpillar’s example into and turn into our own butterfly!

What has helped you in times of change and growth? Please comment below and tell me what you think of the lessons I learned from the caterpillar’s journey and any tips to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Relationships

Six Reasons to Bring Back Snail Mail

By on February 5, 2018
six reasons to bring back snail mail

SNAIL MAIL

When was the last time you wrote to someone? No, not in a text or email, but real paper mail. When was the last time you picked up your pen, wrote someone a note, stuck it in an envelope with a stamp and let it off into the world? For most people, it has been a while. For me, it was just the other day and I am planning on writing a few this afternoon! I absolutely love sending snail mail! In fact, I have six reasons why I love it- and your loved ones will love it too!

1 | Personal Connection

Personal connection is number one on the list for a reason! Letters are written to connect and share with others. It is a very personal act to be physically writing out your words to give to another person- especially in our technology-based society. Relationships are an important part of our mental health and writing letters helps keep the relationship strong! I have sent letters to loved ones that live in the same city as me and ones that live across the globe. No matter how far away people are, writing and reading that letter brings a special connection between people.  

Related: Taking off the “I’m Fine” Mask

2 | Slow down

We live in a fast-paced world. Do you ever send a text or email and keep checking for a reply? Feel rushed and wonder why someone hasn’t gotten back to you yet and when they finally will? I have unfortunately felt the same way. Sending handwritten letters forces you to slow down. I mean, it is called snail mail! The whole process of physically writing a letter will slow you down, but it also slows your mind down. You will send your letter out into the world where it will have its own adventure before reaching your loved one! It is a fun waiting game thinking of when your letter will reach its final destination and be read! I have heard back from so many loved ones that the letter came just when they needed it most- which reminds me to trust the timing of the universe.

3 | Showing You Care

Yes, there are countless ways to show someone you care. Snail mail just feels… special. The letter does not even have to be long, but the intent of going out of your way to send it brings so much extra love along with your note. It is simple to send a quick text or to call someone on your morning commute. However, physically writing a note to someone is very personal and rare nowadays that the thought put into the letter truly comes pouring out. It really is not a lot of work to send a card- just a lot of thought!

4 | Nice Surprise

My mailbox is typically filled with: advertisements, bills, and things meant for the previous resident. Somedays the mailbox is even empty. Finding a letter from a loved one is such a lovely surprise in my sad little box! As soon as I see a personal letter my face lights up! I have the letter in my hand while I walk back inside wondering what is inside! Before even opening up the letter, I can feel the love inside waiting for me. All of this and I have not even started reading yet! After I get home I can finally rip open the letter and truly enjoy the personal connection.

5 | Keepsake

Don’t you love it when you get a sweet text message and find yourself thinking of it- or even rereading it? Maybe there is an uplifting conversation you had with a loved one you keep replaying your mind to relive those lovely emotions. A physical card makes your sweet words into a beautiful keepsake. Around the holidays it is a common practice to display cards from other wishing us well. But, this does not have to be specific to holiday cards! We can hang up that awesome note on the fridge, attach it to your bulletin board, or keep it in a letterbox with other nice notes! You can even keep them on display on your vision board! We are giving so much more than just a letter! 

Related: Vision Board: What, How, and Help Making Yours

6 | Creative outlet

Sending cards is a work of art! Think of the paper and envelope as your fresh canvas! There is a lot of freedom to express yourself in so many different ways with snail mail! From the words you are writing to the way you are writing them, to any other additional touches you might want to add! Maybe some stickers, a watercolor picture, or any other way you want to express yourself- no limits! You can buy plain white cards to spruce up yourself or get a DIY greeting card making kit to help get your creativity flowing! The card is completely yours to communicate what you want, how you want!  

WHAT TO SAY

You can say whatever you would like in a letter! There does not need to be a special occasion such as a birthday to send something. You can send a letter to someone just to say you are thinking of them, miss them, or are happy your lives crossed paths! Life has taken me on a crazy journey- as I am sure is true for most of us. There have been times when I have written people I haven’t seen or talked to in years. After the letter we were able to reconnect- no matter the time or distance. Talk about that personal connection!

WHO TO WRITE

Don’t know who to send a letter to? There are so many wonderful projects and organizations so you can write letters to people you have never met in person. There are organizations for you to write words of encouragement to people having a tough time or find a pen pal across the globe! If there is a cause or group of people you would especially like to connect with do not be afraid to do a little research. You might be surprised at the number of people enjoying the benefits of snail mail!

I came across an amazing organization, Girls Love Mail, that sends letters to women who have been newly diagnosed with breast cancer. They go over absolutely everything you would need to know in their FAQ section, have a free stationary you can download, plus you can sign up to join their community and would get to read the responses from letter recipients!

SMALL ACT WITH A LOT OF IMPACT

Cards are an amazing way to connect with others. I have tried to put into words just how special snail mail is, but am still not sure I was able to get the point across. I get so much enjoyment from writing the letters and receiving them!

How do you feel about sending mail? Is there a special cause or organization that you write to? If you haven’t written a letter in a while try it out and let me know how it goes! Please comment below and tell me what you think of my article and any thoughts about bringing back snail mail! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

Written with love for you,

Brightside Bear  

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Mental Health | Relationships | Self-Care

Taking Off the “I’m Fine” Mask

By on January 29, 2018
taking off the I'm fine mask

Fine Culture

I think the cultural norm of asking people how they are and replying in a simple and polite way has slipped into my close relationships. My mind replies to everyone in the polite, simple way that is masking my true feelings. 

Now, I am not saying to tell the nice barista your life story when she is asking for your order during the morning rush. There are times when people are in fact just asking how you are doing to be polite and for casual small talk because it has become a social norm. But your support system and loved ones do care how you are doing when they ask! Keep reading to learn why we need to take off the “I’m fine” mask and four steps to take!

Why Stop

When our loved ones are asking us how we are, they do so because they really do care. They are not exchanging simple small talk- they care about you and want to be there for you! Think about it like this- wouldn’t you want to know if your loved one was not fine?  By saying you are fine when you are not, you are building a wall of isolation around you. Your loved ones are unable to be there for you because you are not letting them. So, how do we tear down the “I’m fine” wall that is keeping us from receiving help and support?  Keep reading to see how I am breaking down this wall!

How to Stop

1 | Reflect

Why do I say I am fine when I am not? Why do I have this reaction to put on a mask? Take some time to think of yourself in your “I’m fine” mindset. Why are you keeping the mask on? I decided to journal about this to help clarify my thoughts.

After my reflection, here are five of the reasons why I respond with “I’m fine” that I think are probably common ones.

Your reasons might be similar or completely different. The important reason is to reflect on why you are putting this mask on for your loved ones. The book Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families is a wonderful resource for helping you be honest with your feelings and the reason behind them (you can read my book review here).

2 | Reach Out

It is so hard to ask for help! It does not help when you are telling others you are fine when you are not- creating more isolation. When I was in a better mental state, I told my support system about my automatic response. I told them how I heard the words leave my mouth, but they seemed out of my control. I told my support about my reflection and why I might have this response now. Yes, this was a hard conversation to have. But, it was necessary! Your support needs to know when you need them in order to help and support you. I kept reminding myself if the roles were reversed I would want a loved one to reach out to me. Help them help you.

3 | Develop a Plan

Time for more reflection! What is it that you really need when you tell someone you’re fine? Do you need a listening ear? A positive distraction? A big (Brightside) bear hug? Maybe it varies, is a combination of all three, or something completely different. That is more than okay.

To begin, I told my support that I need them to be persistent in asking me what is wrong, to the point of nagging me. I needed help breaking my automatic response. Then we brainstormed some other ways to open up in these situations. For instance, instead of asking “How are you? asking, “What emotions are you feeling right now?” allows for a different mindset.

Talk to your support about what could help you open up or help you feel better in these situations and develop a plan. I also came up with using code words with my support! This was so helpful that I wrote an entire article just about using code words with your support that you can check out here!

4 | Practice Speaking Up

What is going on in your life? How are you really feeling? Becoming more honest and aware of your emotions in general will help you from putting on your fine mask. It can be scary talking about our emotions and what is going on. I am a big fan of writing about your feelings to help you process what is happening. Many times I have journaled about something and then talked to someone about the same issue. You can even write your loved one a letter about what is going on. Another option is to set aside time with your support for regular check-ins. This could be anything from a weekly dinner together to a daily chat. I am forever grateful that I live with my support. We have made it a habit – even on our habit trackers – to go on a walk together daily. On our walks we leave our phones behind and just talk about our days, checking in with one another.

RELATED: Using a Journal for Self-Care: Six Benefits of Writing it Out

Not Fine

It is okay to not be okay in life, just remember that everything is temporary. You might need help changing perspective or bringing more gratitude into your life. Be sure to keep up with your self-care! Seemingly simple things such as staying hydrated and having a clean space help us more than we realize! Of course be sure to show appreciation to your support too!

Do you find yourself telling your support that you are fine when you are not? Please comment below and tell me what you think of my tips and if you have any tips to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

Written with love for you,

Brightside Bear  

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Relationships

Helping a Loved One: Difference Between Offering Help and Helping

By on January 22, 2018
Helping a Loved One

“Do not hesitate to ask for a thing if you need help!”

“Whatever you need, you know where to find me!”

“I am only a phone call away!”

How many times have we said these to a loved one going through a tough time? While we are offering our help in full sincerity, more often than not our offers for help go unused.

But why?

I remember when my family was having a hard time and it seemed like everyone was offering their help to me… but almost no one was actually helping. The offers for help even felt like a burden to me. I felt burdened because I had no idea what could possibly help me in such a time of darkness. I did not know how to help someone, help me.

How do we go from offering to help to actually helping?

1 | Validation and Checking in

Recognize the hard time your loved one is going through and validate their feelings. Let them know it is okay to not be okay and this feeling is temporary. Ask your loved one if they want to talk about what is going on. Be sure they know the offer is not a one-time thing. Checking in regularly just to let them know you care goes a long way. A little message that takes seconds to type could make their entire day better or even sending snail mail they can keep on the refrigerator! 

2 | Suggest ways you can help.

It is hard to ask for help. Instead of asking the open-ended question of, “How can I help?”, suggest a few ways to help. Think of what tasks you would be willing and able to do that could help your loved one. Something that might be simple for you could take a huge weight off of their shoulders. Some ideas could be: cooking or picking up dinner, grocery shopping, laundry, or offering to help pick up their child from school for the week! Remember how much the cleanliness of our space impacts our mental health? Maybe you can help in this way! 

3 | Plan a good time!

Plan fun time together to give your loved one a break from their hard time. Think of what your loved one would really enjoy and some self-care you could even enjoy together. It could be a whole day at the park or just a dinner at your apartment with their favorite breakfast or dessert served. Whatever it is, be sure to plan every detail so your loved one can just enjoy the break. A surprise plan might not always work here. You could say, “Hey! Let me know when you have a free three hours/night because I have something special for us!” That way you know your loved one does not have a prior engagement- plus it gives them something to be excited for!

What if my tries for help still get turned down?

You might offer your help being as honest and enthusiastic as possible, yet still have your offers for help turned down. That is perfectly okay. Everyone handles hard times differently and at a different pace. What is important is that you are doing all you can to help your loved one when they need you the most. Your offers for help are never a waste.

Why is it important to be proactive about helping?

Being proactive about helping is the best way to be helpful! If we wait until a loved one asks for help, we may never get the chance to help them. Sometimes, when we are struggling the most it is also the hardest time to ask for help. By just helping and not waiting to be asked, we are showing just how important it is to us that we are there for our loved ones. 

What are some ways others have gone above and beyond to help you in a time of need? Please comment below and tell me what you think of my article on helping loved ones!  If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

Written with love just for you,

Brightside Bear

 

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