Self-Care

Hydration and Mental Health: The Important Connection 

By on December 12, 2017
The important connection between mental health and hydration.

Water is essential to all life. As humans, our bodies and minds are no different. The fact that water makes up 60%-70% of the adult body weight is huge! Being hydrated is obviously important to our health and wellbeing, but its importance is still not being stressed enough. Without realizing it, you could be suffering from the negative side effects that are easily brought on by dehydration that impacts our minds and bodies alike. Keep reading to find out just how important water is to our mental and physical health- plus tips to stay hydrated!!

We are All (Mostly) Water

It is eye-opening to learn how much our organs rely on water. In Hydration for Health’s helpful chart, which I placed below, you can see the break down of the water content of our different organs.

Dehydration impacts everything from how your organs are functioning to your mood. Because our brain is composed of 74.8% water, it makes sense that dehydration would impact its functioning greatly. Among the effects are fatigue, headaches, slower reaction times, irritability, and cognitive performance. Additionally, when dehydrated, your brain utilizes more energy to perform the same task as it would be hydrated. While we might be inclined to say these symptoms are caused by stress or mental illness, it could be a result of mild dehydration too!

Several studies found that it only takes 2% of dehydration to impair performances and function. While other studies found it takes only a 1% dehydration rate for the negative effects to begin. When our bodies are composed of so much water, we can easily be at least 1% dehydrated without realizing it.  After learning this, hydration has become my first line of defense when I am feeling off. Tired? Water. Headache? Water. Upset? Water. Of course, water does not cure everything, but dehydration could be causing a lot of issues that you did not know!

How do I know if I am drinking enough water?

Use this hydration calculator from Hydration for Health! By just entering some of your information, you will receive their recommendation for your daily water intake. Another way to check your hydration level is with this urine color chart! Everyone’s hydration needs are different and depend on multiple factors such as weight, activity, diet, and genetics!

Tips on Staying Hydrated

1 | Start the morning with a glass of water!

After hours of no water intake, this is exactly what you need to nourish yourself in the morning! Drink water before anything else to help replenish and wake up your body. Because our brains are made up of 74.8%  water and our muscles are made up of 75.6%, dehydration in the morning can easily cause headaches and muscle aches. I fill up my water bottle before bed and am sure to drink at least 16 ounces first thing in the morning (usually more)! After starting this morning water routine, I have found myself having fewer headaches in the morning and a general feeling of being ready for the day!

Related: Morning Routines! Benefits and How to Create A Positive Start Daily

2 | Invest in a reusable water bottle

In order to stay hydrated, you need access to water for you to drink! By having a reusable water bottle handy, you will never need to worry about staying hydrated when out and about. I always leave the house with my water bottle- even if I am going out to eat. There are water bottles with built-in filters too, so you can ensure your water is clean! Not only will you be working towards staying hydrated, you will also be helping to keep our planet clean! 

3 | Keep track of your hydration throughout the day

To be sure you are drinking enough water, you must know how much water you are drinking. There are various ways to keep track: on your phone, through a hydration app, or in a journal to name a few.  On my habit tracker, I have a space for “daily water intake” to help me stay on track (print your habit tracker here)! There are even smart water bottles! By being more aware of your hydration needs, the easier and more natural monitoring it becomes.

Hydration is an essential part of our overall well being! I even keep some extra cute cups in my self-care kit and drink a big glass to calm myself! I hope my article inspires you to stay hydrated and make it part of your daily self-care! Please comment below and tell me what you think of my article on hydration and mental health! I would love to hear your hydration tips! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Relationships | Self-Care

Social Event? 5 Tips To Help You Have a Great Time

By on December 4, 2017
tips for surviving social events and family gatherings

Social events are typically not as picture perfect as you see on your beautifully filtered social media feeds or the feel-good holiday movies. They are often a stressful time for many people. When I found myself having more anxiety than enjoyment at some gatherings I knew I would have to change my approach. I have outlined my five tips on surviving social gatherings below- whether it is for a work function, family reunion, or just a birthday party! I hope they help you at your next gathering, and all of the gatherings to follow!

1 | Ask Yourself: Is there something specific I can do to make this event easier on myself? 

Sometimes there is a clear answer to this questions, while other times we have to get creative. The important part is asking the question early and being able to reflect. Try out journaling to help with your reflection! If a big cause of uneasiness is not being able to eat the food there, you can come up with a plan. I am the only family member that is vegan and have approached my food obstacles in two different ways. One option is to bring an entire dish to share and give others an opportunity to eat what you are. Another option is to bring an extra large portion of food that is just for you and heat it up when others are getting their food. There are pros and cons to both, but all that matters is what makes you most comfortable. If there are topics you are worried about discussing, come up with some responses when the subject comes up- something to let people know nicely you do not want to talk about that. This could be a simple answer or a transition to a new topic. If there is a specific person you are wishing to avoid, decide on some “exit plans” to quickly get out of the conversation. Keep reading for more ways to make the gathering easier on yourself. 

2 | Find a Supporter

Is there someone at the gathering you can use as your oasis from the crowd? Maybe a family member who is good at calming you down? Can you bring a loved one to help you stay positive? Having just one person you can turn to in moments of high stress can go a long way! I have often used the children in the family as my oasis from the adults. Being able to play a game with the kids, act silly, and not be so serious or cautious of scrutiny is very helpful! If you need help asking for that extra support, check out my article on Taking Off the “I’m Fine” Mask! It is a wonderful idea to use a codeword with your support for the event too- maybe something to let them know you want to leave or need help. 

3 | Bring A Calming Escape

While I often find an oasis in the kids of the family, you can bring your own oasis. Find something to bring with you to the gathering to help release some of your discomforts. Some ideas would be a coloring book, crossword puzzle, reading book, journal, sudoku or a craft. You can even bring a game for you and your supporter to enjoy. Keeping yourself busy should help lessen the nerves brought on by the family gathering. Maybe you can bring your gratitude journal to write and reflect in, your self-care kit,  or read an encouraging book! You can always go into a separate room to really dive into your escape. It is okay to have some alone time and escape the gathering for a bit- do not feel pressured to keep interacting with everyone the entire time. You have a right to time alone. One year, I noticed an open house down the street from the family gathering. I became very stressed and my supporter suggested we go to the open house for a little break. The open house allowed me to calm down and return to the gathering with more peace of mind. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish.

4 | Be Realistic, and Understanding, of Differences 

Know before the gathering that it is okay if the group together, especially if it is your family, does not all get along. The world as a whole and families are filled with people who have different opinions, mannerism, and ways of life as a whole. We are not obligated to be the same as others, even our family, and it is okay to hold your own beliefs. But, there is a respectful way of having differences. You do not need to convince anyone of your own opinions and you do not need to criticize others. If you know there is something, in particular, you don’t want to talk about; go back to tip 1 and have ready to go response. You can enlist your supporter to help you with conversations as well- possibly using an excuse to check on them to leave the conversation or a codeword used for help. This article from Business Insider describes navigating potentially awkward conversations at family gatherings.

5 | Be Mindful of Your Own Well-Being

Your mental health is always a priority and should not be sacrificed for a gathering. You do not need to be at the gathering from start to finish- it is okay to only stay for a few hours. Coming up with reasons you cannot stay late, or arrive early, ahead of the family gathering could help as well. I have used traffic, school or work projects, and other events to help me state why I can’t stay. Take care of yourself and do everything you can to make the event as enjoyable for yourself as possible. Remember the event is only temporary and you will be back in your comfort zone soon! 

Be proud of yourself for attending the gathering and making the most of it! Take time to take care of yourself afterward as well. I hope my tips help you have more enjoyment than anxiety at your next family gathering. Please comment below and tell me what you think of my tips and if you have any tips to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most for of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Mental Health

How to get the most out of Therapy: 10 Tips

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10 tips to get the most out of therapy

“Did you know that therapy is not just about creating an absence of negative feelings, or, controversy, about creating happy feelings. It is about helping you live a productive life and about helping you develop and sustain meaningful relationships. It is also about learning and applying the skills needed in order to grow from life’s ups and downs.” – Dr. Neil Houston, Sociologist

Everyone can benefit from therapy because the essence of therapy is to help you heal and become the person you want to be. I first saw a therapist when I was 16 years old and have sought out therapy at different times in my life since- even group therapy! Therapy is a life-changing resource and your therapist is an amazing support system! What you put into therapy is what you get out of therapy. Because the sessions typically only last around an hour, I created these tips to help you get the most from your time with your therapist!

1 | Do Your Research

Luckily for us, we live in a day and age where there are specialists in a huge range of therapies. Reflect on why you are seeking therapy and if a specialist would benefit you. Next, research different therapists. Be sure to check reviews from past patients, credentials, or ask friends and family if they have a therapist to recommend for you. Depending on demographic information, finding a therapist is a different process for everyone. Some options would be through your school or university, through work, another doctor, an online therapist, or a private practice. It is okay if the therapist you first find is not a good fit for you, just be sure to give them a fair chance with at least three sessions while giving therapy your all. There are many different therapists so there is someone out there who is perfect for you!

2 | Timing is Everything

Be sure your therapy is during a time when you can get there early, leave late, and decompress afterward. Digging deep and being vulnerable to therapy is exhausting! You should schedule therapy for a time when you are able to give your complete attention, free from any distractions and obligations. Not only do you need to be attentive during therapy, but you should also be reflective afterward. A lot happens in a therapy session and time after your session to not only rest but to reflect and process what just happened is key!

3 | Okay to be Private About Therapy

There are a few different reasons you may want to be private about your therapy, and that is okay. Therapy is for YOU. You can choose to tell people that you are going, what you are talking about, or not tell them you are going to therapy at all. Therapy is a very personal journey and some people can, unfortunately, be opinionated, gossipy, and judgemental towards it. Do not share your journey with people who are not proud of you for seeking help and are not excited for you to be on this journey you are on to becoming your best self. You have the right to privacy. 

4 | Do Not Lie

Did you not do your outside of therapy exercises?  Did you lose your temper or go back to bad habits? That is okay. Tell your therapist the truth because you are in therapy for real guidance. Your therapist cannot help you if they do not know what is going on. Therapy is a safe place without judgments, where you are encouraged to be 100% yourself. It is empowering to have a safe place where you can talk about your emotions and thoughts freely while being counseled. Take advantage of this safe space and being honest in therapy is helping your therapist help you to the best of their ability.

5 | Am I Progressing?

It is important to recognize how therapy is impacting your life. Whatever the reason is you are going to therapy, you can track your progress. If you are going to therapy to stop a specific habit, begin to record when you do that habit. If you are seeking therapy for your mood, start to track how your day went or when specific mood hits.  I even created a free tracker you can print off for yourself! It’s extra helpful if you can reflect and record the circumstances around the feelings! By tracking yourself, you are able to see the impacts of therapy in a clear way and make connections in your life.

6 | Prepare For Next Session

Before your therapy session think about what you want to cover. Did something happen since the last session? Is there an event coming up you need to prepare for? Take some time to journal and reflect on what is going on and what you would like to talk about in therapy.  If you are tracking your progress as mentioned above, you should share your results with your therapist. By taking the time to prepare for your session beforehand you are sure to get the most of your therapy session. I always brought my small therapy notebook to help me prepare!

RELATED: Using a Journal for Self-Care: Six Benefits of Writing it Out 

7 | Live Therapy Outside of the Session

Therapy only lasts about an hour, but for therapy to be effective you have to live it 24/7. By this, I mean to incorporate what you are learning in therapy into your life. Your therapist will teach you a wide variety of techniques and skills to help you. But, just talking about these amazing changes in your life while you are in therapy will not change your life! You must be conscious of how you are practicing these new strategies and implement them as much as possible. You must fully embrace therapy to get the maximum benefits. Do not forget about self-care, staying hydrated, and practicing gratitude!

8 | Be Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

People always say, “growth happens outside of the comfort zone.” Well, get ready because therapy is a place for your optimal growth! I like to think of caterpillars when I envision positive growth! You will have to be vulnerable in therapy, allowing your walls to come down. You will be asked to dig deep inside of yourself, which can seem intimidating. Simply think of being uncomfortable on your journey in therapy as your growing pains.  It is worth it, I promise.

9 | Be Present

When you are in therapy, be completely there. This means putting your phone on silent, turning off any notifications through your apple watches or fitbits, and making sure anything that can distract you is put away. If you start to feel your mind wander when your therapist is talking- tell them. Once in therapy, the clock in the room made a very annoying sound. I told my therapist halfway through the session and she simply took the batteries out and we carried on with me being able to be present. Simple as that!

10 | Don’t Rush Therapy

Therapy is a journey. A life-changing journey of self-discovery, love, and growth. As with all things worth having in life, it takes time. Therapy is teaching you skills that will help you for the rest of your life. Enjoy it and welcome the entire process with open arms. There is no timeline for therapy, no finish by date. This quote is perfect for therapy…

“Nature does not hurry yet everything is accomplished.”- Lao Tzu

I hope these tips help you in therapy! Above all, be proud of yourself for going to therapy! The book Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families does a great job of explaining why expressing our thoughts and feelings is so important (read my book review here). You are investing in yourself in a lovely way. Please comment below and tell me what you think of my tips and if you have any tips to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most for the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Mental Health

How to get Motivated- 5 Key Tips

By on November 28, 2017
motivation tips

Motivation

Motivation! It is what we absolutely need to get things done in this world!  Motivation is the inner push inside of us to do…well anything. We can dream and talk about what we want to happen, have all of the necessary tools, and still not be able to get something done, all because the motivation is missing. Motivation is the key to reaching your goals- or just complete tasks that need to be done. But motivation is something everyone needs help with once in awhile! Below I highlighted my top five motivation tips!

1 | Reflect on Why You Aren’t Being Motivated

Are you worried that you will fail? Nervous about what will happen when you succeed? Nervous about other people’s opinions about you? Maybe it is a combination of these, or something completely different. Whatever is holding you back, there is no other way to get around it-  you must face it head-on. To face your obstacle head-on, you must first define what the obstacle is. It won’t be easy to dig deep and see what is stopping you, but trust me it is worth it. Journaling to reflect could be very helpful here! Once you know why you aren’t being motivated, you can finally figure out how to deal with it.

2 | Make a List of Why You Want to Accomplish This

How will you feel when you completed the task? Will you be proud of what you have accomplished and the obstacles you overcame? Will you be relieved that it is finally over?  Whatever the reason is why you want to get this done, you need to keep this in mind. Try to be as specific as possible and list as many reasons that you can think of! The more reasons to get something done, the better! I have even written down on a post-it note a list of “whys” to get certain tasks done. Let me tell you, seeing those reminders of why I wanted to get my stuff done definitely gave me an extra push to knock out some work needing to be done. My vision board does an amazing job of motivating me! You must know why you want to get this done to motivate yourself!

3 | Motivation Has To Be Repeated…Again and Again

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing- that’s why we recommend it daily”- Zig Ziglar Click To Tweet

When I heard this quote for the first time, there was a HUGE alarm that went off in my head!  I realized that with almost anything in life, I need a reminder- I need those daily hugs reminding me I am loved, I need my daily gratitude exercises to keep reminding me of the beautiful blessings in life, and I need to nourish the relationships in my life that they are important to me. So, of course, it would make sense that motivation is something that needs to be replayed in order to get the maximum impact- everything in life does! Everthing in life is temporary – including motivation! I keep a habit tracker to help myself stay on track (print your free tracker here)! Motivation is temporary and is not a one time deal, instead, it is a ritual that needs to be repeated over and over again.

4 | Realize That Only You Can Motivate Yourself

Motivation comes from within. Sure, someone else motivating you with money or something else could convince you to get a job done. But, you won’t have that inside desire and drive that is true motivation. If someone else was motivating you and then all of the sudden stopped, would you be working as hard and meticulous or just stop altogether?  

When you motivate yourself, the possibilities are endless. If you truly want something, you will be motivated by it. Even if it is just the tiniest of baby steps you can take, you can be motivated to take them. Small steps forward are still moving in the right direction! Wanting something for yourself and creating a purpose is far more powerful than being motivated temporarily by an outside force. Now, if the task you have to get done does not bring you any intrinsic motivation, the next key tip can help you out!

5 | Give Yourself Rewards

What gets you excited? Whether it is a new outfit, a donut from the bakery, or quality time doing something you love, you can reward yourself for your hard work. Making a reward system for yourself may sound a little childlike, but it really works for me- and you do not even need to tell anyone else you are doing it! With larger goals, I give myself mini rewards along the way and have a larger reward waiting for me when I am finished!

With rewards, you must be sure to do three things

1 | Do not ask too much of yourself!

2 | Appreciate the fact that you earned this reward when you receive it!

3 | Plan out your rewards ahead of time! Both of what the reward will be and what must be done to earn it!

If you don’t follow these rules, the rewards system will not work. But, if you do the rewards system correctly- the sky is the limit!

While motivation is not always easy, it is always possible.  The book You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life is a great way to get yourself motivated (read my complete review here)! I created a PDF with these key tips for you to print out to help inspire and get the ball of motivation rolling for you! What helps you get and stay motivated? Please comment to tell me your motivation tips! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Brightside Bear  

 

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Mental Health | Self-Care

Self-Care with Three Sentences: Gratitude Journal

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3 sentences for self-care : gratitude journal

No Time For Self- Care

We all know how important self-care is to our overall wellbeing. But, some days it feels like we cannot have one moment to ourselves because of how much we are trying to get done. No time for a leisurely stroll enjoying nature, a nice long bath, or even a meal without multitasking. So how are you supposed to be mindful and practice self-care? Well, you can practice self-care with just three sentences a day!

Three Sentences for Self-Care?

Yes, three sentences for self-care a day! The sentences are answering this- what three things are you grateful for today? That simple.  Gratitude is such an insanely powerful emotion and unfortunately, it is not practiced nearly as much as it should be. Practicing gratitude reminds us of the wonderful things in this world and our lives we are blessed to have- and possibly take for granted.

When I was very stressed and not taking nearly enough time for myself, I heard from a friend to start listing my gratitude every morning. I did not think the exercise would do much because I consider myself a very grateful person. Oh, how wrong I was! I dedicated a small notebook I had to this practice- my gratitude journal- so I could look back on my reflections.

Related: 8 Surprising Benefits of Gratitude and How to Practice Today

Mindset Is Key

As with everything in self-care, your mindset matters! If you are rushing in the morning to write down three things before you run out the door, this is not a self-care practice. When you are reflecting on the three things you are grateful for today, reflect fully. No distractions, no rush. If you do not have time in the morning, leave it for lunch or when you are home for the day. It is more important that you are doing this practice mindfully than just writing out three items with your mind stressing and not focusing on what you are grateful for.

Take the time to truly feel the gratitude you have, to reflect on how wonderful this life is, and remember there is always something to be grateful for.

Why I Love It

Listing three things you are grateful for does not seem hard. I quickly learned how hard it could be. When my mental health was bad, it was so extremely difficult for my brain to think of three things I was grateful for. I would have to push myself to think hard of all the reasons I have to be grateful for. Those are the days when my gratitude journal went above and beyond its work. I would find myself thinking about the basic things I have to be grateful for- such as clean water to drink and fresh air to breathe. I would not leave my gratitude session until I had all three items. Some days it took longer than others, but those days that took me the longest also brought about the best reflections.

Try It With a Friend

I had a friend that I could tell was struggling. I talked about my gratitude journal, but he did not seem too keen on the idea for himself. So, I suggested we text our gratitude to each other every day. He thought that was great! Every morning, after I had my own gratitude journal time, I would text him my gratitude. Then he would respond and send me his for the day. It was so wonderful to share my gratitude with a loved one and to hear what they are grateful for every day. You could do this with anyone- parent, coworker, sibling, significant other- and spread the positivity this way!

Of course, I do not think this is the only way you should be practicing self-care. If you are unsure of how else to practice self-care you can download my ten free and easy ways to practice self-care! Please comment below and tell me what you think of this three sentence self-care practice and what you are grateful for! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Relationships

Bringing Back my Childhood Excitement into my Relationships

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When I Was Younger

At a family gathering recently, my uncle told me a story about my younger self that really opened my eyes… My Uncle Tom did not live close to my family but would stop by for dinner and a visit when he would drive through town. We usually knew when he was coming, but one night my Uncle Tom surprised us with a visit. When he came to the door who should answer but my five-year-old self. I opened the door and as soon as I saw him I could not hide my excitement! Leaving Uncle Tom outside, with the front door wide open, I ran back inside yelling, “UNCLE TOM IS HERE! UNCLE TOM IS HERE!”

The story continues, though, that I was the only person excited to see him. My older siblings were playing a game and did not want to take their eyes off of it. At the same time, my parents were busy with their own things. I ran through the house shouting at the top of my lungs, but my family did not see how important it was that Uncle Tom was there.

Uncle Tom finished this story by telling me how much love and importance he felt in that moment when I greeted him all those years ago. Even though my level of excitement was not met, I finished my loop around the house unphased. I simply let my pure joy and love for Uncle Tom be felt fully!

Childlike Excitement

After the story sunk in, I wondered what it would be like if I greeted every person I loved in this way. Pretty quickly I realized how amazing this would be- for me and my loved ones. No, you do not have to do a lap around the house announcing their arrival. (Although, your loved ones would definitely feel cared for.)  Looking back, it is two simple things I did that made Uncle Tom feel so loved when I greeted him.

1 | I gave him my full attention.

2 | I blatantly showed him how happy he, and his presence, means to me.

These two things make such an impact.

The Lasting Impact

It has been decades since I greeted Uncle Tom at the door, but when he told me the story recently it was as if he was feeling that same love all over again. Using your words to tell someone how much they mean to you, how much you enjoy your time together, and how happy you are to have them in your life are powerful words to say with a lasting impact.  The acts of giving someone our full attention and letting them know we care are so important. I like to think of these words and actions as a different way to run around the house because it sends my loved ones the same message.

Please comment below and tell me what you think of my idea to bring back your childhood excitement into your relationships!  If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Brightside Bear  

childhood excitement into relationships

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Mental Health

Mental Health: What Is It And Why Is It Important To Me?

By on November 20, 2017

Mental health- such a taboo topic. But, why? Everyone has mental health, just like everyone has physical health. Both are vital to our wellbeing. Our mental health is concerned with our social, psychological, and emotional well-being. There is no difference in how important each are to us, the only differences is the stigma mental health carries. The stigma of mental health has been around for a long time, but finally we are making some progress to end the stigma! By talking openly about mental health, sharing our own personal experiences, or listening respectfully as someone shares their experiences are how we are ending this stigma. Mental health is important and should be a priority for every single person.

“It is so common, it could be anyone. The trouble is, nobody wants to talk about it. And that makes everything worse. “ -Ruby Wax

This quote is a perfect representation of mental illness. 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. (43.8 million) experiences mental illness in a given year*. Additionally, only 41% of these adults received mental health services in the past year. But mental health does not just impact adults*. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S., the 3rd leading cause of death for people aged 10-14, and the 2nd leading cause of death for people aged 15-24*.  According to MentalHealth.gov,  “Half of all mental health disorders show first signs before a person turns 14 years old, and three-quarters of mental health disorders begin before age 24. Unfortunately, less than 20% of children and adolescents with diagnosable mental health problems receive the treatment they need.” 

Mental health needs to be normalized in our lives so we can help one another and realize we are not alone as we may feel. Brightside Bear is passionate about ending the stigma around mental health, creating a safe space for people to reach out for help, and to let people know they are never alone! There are plenty of resources for help!

If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

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Brightside Bear 

* https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-By-the-Numbers
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Mental Health | Relationships

How to Take Your Social Media from Toxic to Inspirational

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how to take your social media from toxic to inspirational

Social Media’s Evolution

Social media has grown into a normal part of our everyday lives. Wake up, check social media, then get out of bed. This is a common morning routine for plenty of people. Over the years, what I use my social media for has changed drastically.  When I first started with social media, it was about making sure I could connect with every single person I have ever met! Slowly, my news feeds filled with everyone I knew and their mothers (literally).

Over time, I viewed social media in a new light. Your social media should be a sacred place. You decide who you allow to see your life and whose life you want to be continuously updated with. Social media is an amazing way to stay connected with people we care about, to keep up to date with the world we live in, and to find inspiration. But, social media can easily go from being a positive resource in our lives to harming our mental health. Keep reading to learn how to turn your social media from toxic to inspirational!

RELATED: Morning Routines! Benefits and How To Create A Positive Start Daily

So how do we get the most out of social media? Here are my four tips for you!

1 | PURGE YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA!

 Go through the lists of people you are following or interacting with on social media. Reflect on how the person makes you feel. Does this person bring you negative feelings? Do you roll your eyes whenever they post an update? Do you feel negative feelings towards them or yourself whenever they show up? GET RID OF THEM!

One day while on social media I realized just how much my newsfeed was impacting my emotions in a negative way. I saw a post from someone I have not seen or talked to in YEARS. I saw their face on my screen and I immediately thought of the negative encounters with them and my negative feelings I still had. As soon as I realized I had no obligation to be connected on social media to people who only brought me negativity, I felt unbelievably free. You do not need to be a people pleaser, even on social media. I came up with a rule: If I would not say hello to someone if we ran into each other in the real world, I would not stay connected with them on social media. It just makes sense.

2 | ADD POSITIVITY TO YOUR NEWSFEED!

What makes you smile?  Fill your newsfeeds with what makes you feel happy, motivated, alive, and every other positive emotion you want in your life! On social media there is an account for pretty much EVERYTHING you could possibly imagine. Start connecting to accounts that will overflow your newsfeeds with posts that will make you feel positive and bring a smile to your face! 

I follow accounts that are about adorable animals, positive affirmations, silly jokes, beautiful photography, self-care, and of course positive mental health.  If you are trying to learn something new follow some accounts for inspiration! Following a few accounts that only post about what makes you smile or feel motivated brightens up your whole newsfeed! Seeing inspirational accounts played a part in why I began my positive Instagram account and started this blog!

3 | MODERATION!

Social media can be addictive. Obsessively checking to see how many likes your photo has or refreshing your page over and over to see what people are up to are very unhealthy habits! Try to check your social media sparingly and not whenever you open your phone or laptop. Social media can be hard to avoid when we are getting notifications sent to us constantly. If you feel obligated to click on those notifications on your phone as soon as one pops up or find yourself checking for notifications- take the notifications off!

When I first realized I was on social media a good bit, I decided to start tracking myself- and it was eye-opening! To see how much you are on social media, there are free apps you can download to help track and monitor your phone time. You can even delete the social apps off your phone to have less access to them. Do not let social media life get in the way of living your life. Put the phone down, and enjoy the moment in front of you to the fullest. Like all good things in life, moderation is key.

4 | NO COMPARISON!

You must realize that social media does not represent real life! People choose what they post on social media. They typically do not post themselves at their worst- people tend to not even post the “average” parts of their lives. Social media posts are the highlights of someone’s world- complete with filters to look even grander. While scrolling through, keep in mind the beautiful photo is representing a perception of a moment and not someone’s entire life.

Do not compare yourself to the posts themselves and do not compare the number of likes, followers, friends, and so on either.   Your worth is not determined by how many people like what you posted or who follows you on social media- your worth is determined by YOU. The book You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life is a great resource for building your self-esteem and you can read my review on it herePost to social media because you genuinely want to share with your loved ones- not because you feel pressure to impress others.

The Impact

Social media has a larger impact on our well being than most people realize. The beautiful possibilities of connecting with loved ones or people with similar interests has been made so much easier! We should definitely use social media for our benefit- to connect and grow. Don’t forget that snail mail is still a great way to keep in touch and spread the love too!

I hope my tips help you have a social media newsfeed that helps lift you up! How do you get the most out of your social media? Please comment below and tell me what you think of my tips and if you have any tips to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

Written with love for you,

Brightside Bear  

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Self-Care

Self-Care: What is it and Why do I need it?  

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What is Self-Care?

Self-care sounds simple enough- just taking take care of yourself, right? Well, not exactly.

Taking care of yourself could be interpreted in a lot of different ways: paying your bills, celebrating your little victories, having your reports ready for work or school, getting enough rest, staying hydrated, eating nutritious food- the list goes on and on.

But, there are two different ways you take care of yourself: in a way to survive and in a way to thrive. When you are taking care of yourself for survival, it is when you are doing what you need to in order to survive life. That is making sure you have the essentials- a place to live, food to eat, good hygiene, and so on. Taking care of yourself in a way to thrive is what self-care (and life) are really about!

Self-care is care for you, by you. Basically, self-care is taking care of yourself so you are able to recover from life and be recharged for it all over again! It is giving yourself the love, relaxation, and break you deserve and is much needed! Self-care can be thought of as treating yourself like you would your best friend. Such as checking in regularly to ensure you are taking care of yourself and your peace of mind. Self-care is an all-encompassing concept, involving the health of your mind, body, and spirit.

Why do I need Self-Care?

You need self-care so you can enjoy life! There is no life that is stress-free, but with self-care, you are taking the time to let your mind, body, and soul recovery from the stress. You are allowing yourself the rest from stress you so desperately need! Self-care makes you better equipped to handle the stressors of everyday life. If you don’t allow yourself to rest and recover, you will eventually experience burnout. The stress you are holding on to, and it’s impact on you, will not go away by itself.  

Self-care goes beyond helping with the stress of life. When you are practicing self-care you are making a big statement- “I AM WORTH IT.” You are worth the rest and relaxation time needed to rejuvenate yourself, these are some of the rights you have. You are worthy of letting all of this stress you have been holding on to go. You are worthy of stillness in your day while living in this non-stop world.  You are showing yourself that you are worth love, compassion, and respect.  

How Do I Practice Self-Care?

There is no one way to practice self-care. There isn’t even one way I practice self-care! Self-care is practiced by listening to yourself. What is your body, mind, and spirit needing from you? Maybe reflect with your journal to see what is really going on. Sometimes the body needs to get moving to feel better, other times it needs to lay down and rest. Sometimes we need to be with loved ones, other times we need that alone time. The list of self-care ideas is never-ending, but I put together this PDF of 10 Free and Easy Self-Care Ideas to help you out! You can even create your own self-care kit to fit YOUR needs!

The key to enjoying self-care is doing so fully. Put away the distractions and fully enjoy what you are doing. Your mindset is very important. Remember that you are taking time for yourself in the best possible way! Feeling guilty or thinking of other responsibilities instead of the self-care action at hand is not how to practice self-care. Instead of enjoying your bubble bath of relaxation, you end up in just a tub of guilt – more stressed out than before! The mindset of, “I deserve this rest,” “I am doing this because I love myself,” and “I am worthy of this compassion I am giving myself” are VITAL.

“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.” - Audre Lorde Click To Tweet

Self-care is the Best Care

I cannot stress how important self-care is (hence the entire category to be filled with posts all about it!!).  I hope my tips help you embrace self-care! How do you practice self-care? Please comment below and tell me what you think of my words on self-care and if you have any questions, experiences or advice to add! If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please show you care and share the bear! Be sure to sign up for my emails and follow on social media to get the most of the positive world of Brightside Bear!

Written with love for you,

Brightside Bear  

self-care

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