“Did you know that therapy is not just about creating an absence of negative feelings, or, controversy, about creating happy feelings. It is about helping you live a productive life and about helping you develop and sustain meaningful relationships. It is also about learning and applying the skills needed in order to grow from life’s ups and downs.” – Dr. Neil Houston, Sociologist
Everyone can benefit from therapy because the essence of therapy is to help you heal and become the person you want to be. I first saw a therapist when I was 16 years old and have sought out therapy at different times in my life since- even group therapy! Therapy is a life-changing resource and your therapist is an amazing support system! What you put into therapy is what you get out of therapy. Because the sessions typically only last around an hour, I created these tips to help you get the most from your time with your therapist!
1 | Do Your Research
Luckily for us, we live in a day and age where there are specialists in a huge range of therapies. Reflect on why you are seeking therapy and if a specialist would benefit you. Next, research different therapists. Be sure to check reviews from past patients, credentials, or ask friends and family if they have a therapist to recommend for you. Depending on demographic information, finding a therapist is a different process for everyone. Some options would be through your school or university, through work, another doctor, an online therapist, or a private practice. It is okay if the therapist you first find is not a good fit for you, just be sure to give them a fair chance with at least three sessions while giving therapy your all. There are many different therapists so there is someone out there who is perfect for you!
2 | Timing is Everything
Be sure your therapy is during a time when you can get there early, leave late, and decompress afterward. Digging deep and being vulnerable to therapy is exhausting! You should schedule therapy for a time when you are able to give your complete attention, free from any distractions and obligations. Not only do you need to be attentive during therapy, but you should also be reflective afterward. A lot happens in a therapy session and time after your session to not only rest but to reflect and process what just happened is key!
3 | Okay to be Private About Therapy
There are a few different reasons you may want to be private about your therapy, and that is okay. Therapy is for YOU. You can choose to tell people that you are going, what you are talking about, or not tell them you are going to therapy at all. Therapy is a very personal journey and some people can, unfortunately, be opinionated, gossipy, and judgemental towards it. Do not share your journey with people who are not proud of you for seeking help and are not excited for you to be on this journey you are on to becoming your best self. You have the right to privacy.
4 | Do Not Lie
Did you not do your outside of therapy exercises? Did you lose your temper or go back to bad habits? That is okay. Tell your therapist the truth because you are in therapy for real guidance. Your therapist cannot help you if they do not know what is going on. Therapy is a safe place without judgments, where you are encouraged to be 100% yourself. It is empowering to have a safe place where you can talk about your emotions and thoughts freely while being counseled. Take advantage of this safe space and being honest in therapy is helping your therapist help you to the best of their ability.
5 | Am I Progressing?
It is important to recognize how therapy is impacting your life. Whatever the reason is you are going to therapy, you can track your progress. If you are going to therapy to stop a specific habit, begin to record when you do that habit. If you are seeking therapy for your mood, start to track how your day went or when specific mood hits. I even created a free tracker you can print off for yourself! It’s extra helpful if you can reflect and record the circumstances around the feelings! By tracking yourself, you are able to see the impacts of therapy in a clear way and make connections in your life.
6 | Prepare For Next Session
Before your therapy session think about what you want to cover. Did something happen since the last session? Is there an event coming up you need to prepare for? Take some time to journal and reflect on what is going on and what you would like to talk about in therapy. If you are tracking your progress as mentioned above, you should share your results with your therapist. By taking the time to prepare for your session beforehand you are sure to get the most of your therapy session. I always brought my small therapy notebook
RELATED: Using a Journal for Self-Care: Six Benefits of Writing it Out
7 | Live Therapy Outside of the Session
Therapy only lasts about an hour, but for therapy to be effective you have to live it 24/7. By this, I mean to incorporate what you are learning in therapy into your life. Your therapist will teach you a wide variety of techniques and skills to help you. But, just talking about these amazing changes in your life while you are in therapy will not change your life! You must be conscious of how you are practicing these new strategies and implement them as much as possible. You must fully embrace therapy to get the maximum benefits. Do not forget about self-care, staying hydrated, and practicing gratitude!
8 | Be Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
People always say, “growth happens outside of the comfort zone.” Well, get ready because therapy is a place for your optimal growth! I like to think of caterpillars when I envision positive growth! You will have to be vulnerable in therapy, allowing your walls to come down. You will be asked to dig deep inside of yourself, which can seem intimidating. Simply think of being uncomfortable on your journey in therapy as your growing pains. It is worth it, I promise.
9 | Be Present
When you are in therapy, be completely there. This means putting your phone on silent, turning off any notifications through your apple watches or fitbits, and making sure anything that can distract you is put away. If you start to feel your mind wander when your therapist is talking- tell them. Once in therapy, the clock in the room made a very annoying sound. I told my therapist halfway through the session and she simply took the batteries out and we carried on with me being able to be present. Simple as that!
10 | Don’t Rush Therapy
Therapy is a journey. A life-changing journey of self-discovery, love, and growth. As with all things worth having in life, it takes time. Therapy is teaching you skills that will help you for the rest of your life. Enjoy it and welcome the entire process with open arms. There is no timeline for therapy, no finish by date. This quote is perfect for therapy…
“Nature does not hurry yet everything is accomplished.”- Lao Tzu
I hope these tips help you in therapy! Above all, be proud of yourself for going to therapy! The book Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families
